Children Make A Differnce

I was talking with a friend of mine about how it is so difficult to raise a family these days, financially, morally and ethically. When it shifted to the fact that children make a difference in a relationship and my friend agreed with my assumption but seemed to want that assumption to have the caveat that the difference is only good if the couple share the duties of raising the children. It wasn't the idea that both have to be involved in the relationship that bothered me but it was the assumption that  the chores to be shared must be defined by the woman in the relationship or the one that has hands on if it is a same sex couple.


Let me present my case about this subject and the reader can either agree or disagree with what I have to say.

No matter the age of the couple any relationship without children is like hooking up without any obligations. The only people one has to think about is themselves and the fun they are having. But along comes the offspring and suddenly everything is different and that difference isn't acknowledged right away but it does creep up upon the couple and suddenly it becomes obvious "things" just aren't the same. This little human being demands attention, can't take care of oneself and is draining the finances, which drain becomes greater as they become older, and drains the physical well being of all involved .  Therefore the inclusion of having children should be discussed BEFORE the offspring enter the relationship so that clarity of each of the partner's feelings and thoughts of being parents are fully understood.

One person married another who had a child who was grown and with the ex. That person really didn't want children, in fact the thought of marriage was quite different from his partner. They married without discussing and reaching clarity about this matter. The first years of marriage were great. Each lived their lives as they wanted loving each other but the arrival of children changed that and led to a breakup, a divorce.

My marriage, courtship was many years ago but we, both of us agreed that children would be the physical representation of our spiritual love. It was difficult as in my time the man was breadwinner and the woman was the homemaker which included more time raising the kids. We both wanted children and accepted the fact that our lives would never be the same once they, the children, came along but we never let that come between us as we went to bed never angry always loving. We never thought there was anything more noble, or worthwhile than being parents. Instead of dividing us they brought us closer together because they were our expression of love. The vacations missed were missed but never so much as to think one of our children should not have been born. Get my drift.

Our lives were changed forever once our children came into our lives , changed for the better because this was what we wanted, discussed and agreed to way before any child appeared on the scene. Anyone out there reading this who contemplates relationships should discuss, consider and be truthful about wanting offspring because once one appears your life is changed forever.