He spent some time thinking about this situation that happened, which by the way he never sought but she did, which caused an upheaval in his life that went from the heights of love to the depths of despair until everything just leveled off and he was left with Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote. " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Admittedly, their attraction was more physical than spiritual although he wanted it to rise to the level of the spirit but she never really wanted that. They knew each other when they were much younger but they went their separate ways many years prior to their chance meeting at a department store. They both noticed each other at first glance even though they had changed greatly over the years, yet there was something that rang through to the brain lobes as soon as their eyes met. After they stopped for only a bit showing mutual recognition acknowledging one another they started to part. But as they were about to go their separate ways they reached out to shake hands and as soon as their skins touched it was like a chemical reaction was set off in each of them, somehow sexual recognition was there, a want, an attraction something unexplainable. So he asked if they could get together for lunch and she said sure.
They met for lunch at a place near her work. There was a parking lot that allowed her to drive to it so they met at her office and drove to their place where she parked. They were more than middle aged but they had lunch with two glasses of wine. Then they got into her car. She wanted to wait for the wine to wear off. However before they knew it they were making out like teenagers with hormones running wild not caring if anyone would see them no matter how foolish these "older" people looked.
He didn't live alone so they had no place to go to fully consummate their desires, but the opportunity came up a few times. It was then that she let him know that relationship of more than a decade just ended because the passion had gone out of it and her lover wouldn't leave his wife and she's always be "the other woman".
They realized they couldn't keep this up in cars or a chance visit to his place so she suggested the place she knew, one used in the other relationship because he went back to live with his wife.
He should've recognized the change in her as soon as they entered the room but he was blinded by his own desires and didn't notice that she wasn't sharing anymore she was directing, where they would sit, how they would drink their wine and talk before they stripped and entered the bed.
The real tip off should have come when one day she said our relationship was cutting into her friendships that she had for many years and she didn't want to lose them. Among the people she wanted to keep in touch with was her old lover who for some reason she had an attachment relating to her family that needed continuation.
Their love making started to cool. Suddenly what their attraction was, was being explained as infatuation which of course would cool. Then whatever they did did not satisfy her. At one time the fire burned so fiercely they didn't have to think about what they did but now they did. They argued quite a bit. She constantly compared him to her old lover to whom she kept in contact with. She didn't cheat physically but created an environment in which he felt like he losing everything in this relationship. Plans to spend time together away from home were no longer desired by her. She finally reached the point where they wouldn't touch at all, no hand holding, her head wouldn't rest on his shoulder, they'd kiss hello and goodbye but closeness in mind, body, life in general was over.
He came to the conclusion he caught her on the rebound. Once the rebound was over he figured she really didn't understand where her feelings were at. Perhaps if her old lover left his wife she'd go back to him, perhaps not but she certainly seemed more in tune with him as she might be with anyone else.
Now this relationship is one he really doesn't want but he doesn't know how to break it off without it becoming a breakup with the worst feelings generated by words that wound deeply. One thing is sure he doesn't want to keep running in neutral and being rejected while there are still places to go and explore.
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