Today the rain is coming down rather heavily. There is no place to go, nothing that has to be done, so it is better to wait for the storm to pass. But days like this bring me back some sixty years or so.
I was a young man on the rise. I was sitting in a classy hotel overlooking the Copacabana Beach in Rio and it was empty because despite the temperature being about 85 degrees the rain was coming down much like it is today here in New York City.
I was restless because my business was concluded and I was waiting for the official papers unblocking a quarter of a million dollars that I convinced the Brazilian financial authorities to release to my company who solely need it. It was a big deal that resulted in a promotion and a large salary increase. I really wanted to go out on the beach, swim in the ocean and watch the Cariocas revel in Rio's playground. That's what I thought but what I really wanted was to be with my wife who was thousands of miles away back home in New York City.
God she was beautiful, beautiful and sexy. A tiger in bed that was ready to play in the sand box anytime and anywhere. Being in show business and making a name for myself and my company afforded me plenty of wild beautiful Cariocas, all it would take is a phone call. The only phone call I wanted to make was to my beautiful woman waiting at home for me to come home.
Don't get me wrong sex was and is fun and tingling and exhilarating but for me it has to be with someone I love. To tell you the truth I miss the feeling of soft skin besides me, The exchange of hot breath as we grope and explore bodies. The experience that is shared only by two lovers. Many like the feeling of the sexual experience but only a few experience the lifting of two bodies to meld the spirit. Unfortunately many think this type of thing must be for the young and aging but not the old. It is too bad many think that way because one of the worst things about being old is the exclusion from life's very enjoyable moments just because one is old.
I am transported today some sixty years in the past on a hot rainy day in Brazil looking out of the window to blend into today, a hot July, NYC day which is raining and very much like that day I remember except sixty years have gone by, my beautiful sexy woman only lives in my memory because she has gone to greater glory some years ago and I miss her very much.
I tried relationships but with each one the baggage, children, grandchildren, past relationships and the fact that I am old all played into making those relationships less than what would be desired. But I have no regrets about the life I had or the one I have. But it would be nice to experience before I die the joy of being totally involved with a person who was totally involved with me. After all that's what love is all about. Isn't it?
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