Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Saw a nice little movie called "The Lovers" staring Debora Winger and Tracy Letts which tells the story of a marriage gone stale and the husband and wife juggling affairs It was billed as a comedy but I didn't view it as such. I thought it was a character study of people in a life no longer filled with spark and passion but of dullness and boredom. Some people who saw this movie didn't like it as they thought it was slow moving and filled with characters that were totally unlikeable. I thought it captured life as it is reminding me of characters I knew or heard about. Verisimilitude is the noun I would use to describe the way I feel about this movie. Perhaps it hits to close to home for those who disagree with my critique.
The pace of the movie captures the true pace of life, moving slowly for the most part until some crisis happens and then the pace quickens until the crisis is resolved in some manner and then life returns to its normal pace. The main characters seem to have a life of cheating on each other without any explanation as to when it happened or why it happened. They aren't bad people just very fragile ones who can't seem to get hold of their emotions. I know of a woman who began cheating shortly after she thought he husband cheated on her. She kept the affair up even as she was in other torrid ones.
I know of a married couple who had affairs shortly after they took their marriage vows. They experienced only a few affairs one relationship took more than a decade and of course just like the characters in the movie they promised their lovers that they would divorce and be free to marry but when push came to shove they broke the affair and they are coupled to this day, still not very happy.
The characters in the movie were captivated by sex and the feelings of pleasure sexual behaviour gave but they never truly experienced sexual feelings that included love, a sharing of bodies that gave themselves entirely one to the other. Therefore in all actuality all they ever experienced is lusty love making but not love building. They became bored after some time and needed new charges to re-liven their batteries. Unfortunately these good but misguided people will never find happiness unless and until they find the elixir of life which is a blending of the physical and spiritual which is human love.
If you get a chance see the movie, maybe on demand if you miss it at the cinema. But don't judge the characters just see them as flawed human beings as we all are but happily not in the same way.
Friday, May 5, 2017
Today the rain is coming down rather heavily. There is no place to go, nothing that has to be done, so it is better to wait for the storm to pass. But days like this bring me back some sixty years or so.
I was a young man on the rise. I was sitting in a classy hotel overlooking the Copacabana Beach in Rio and it was empty because despite the temperature being about 85 degrees the rain was coming down much like it is today here in New York City.
I was restless because my business was concluded and I was waiting for the official papers unblocking a quarter of a million dollars that I convinced the Brazilian financial authorities to release to my company who solely need it. It was a big deal that resulted in a promotion and a large salary increase. I really wanted to go out on the beach, swim in the ocean and watch the Cariocas revel in Rio's playground. That's what I thought but what I really wanted was to be with my wife who was thousands of miles away back home in New York City.
God she was beautiful, beautiful and sexy. A tiger in bed that was ready to play in the sand box anytime and anywhere. Being in show business and making a name for myself and my company afforded me plenty of wild beautiful Cariocas, all it would take is a phone call. The only phone call I wanted to make was to my beautiful woman waiting at home for me to come home.
Don't get me wrong sex was and is fun and tingling and exhilarating but for me it has to be with someone I love. To tell you the truth I miss the feeling of soft skin besides me, The exchange of hot breath as we grope and explore bodies. The experience that is shared only by two lovers. Many like the feeling of the sexual experience but only a few experience the lifting of two bodies to meld the spirit. Unfortunately many think this type of thing must be for the young and aging but not the old. It is too bad many think that way because one of the worst things about being old is the exclusion from life's very enjoyable moments just because one is old.
I am transported today some sixty years in the past on a hot rainy day in Brazil looking out of the window to blend into today, a hot July, NYC day which is raining and very much like that day I remember except sixty years have gone by, my beautiful sexy woman only lives in my memory because she has gone to greater glory some years ago and I miss her very much.
I tried relationships but with each one the baggage, children, grandchildren, past relationships and the fact that I am old all played into making those relationships less than what would be desired. But I have no regrets about the life I had or the one I have. But it would be nice to experience before I die the joy of being totally involved with a person who was totally involved with me. After all that's what love is all about. Isn't it?