Love, Family, Rich, Poor

The New York Mets' second baseman Daniel Murphy took off two days from the baseball season, which happened to be opening day of the season, to be with his wife for the birth of their first child and started a brouhaha that is taking on proportions one would have never imagined since this was in accord with the present baseball contract and met with full accordance with his employers. A couple of talking heads criticized Mr. Murphy for taking the second day using some unfortunate language. This started the conversation. But the argument should not be about Daniel Murphy because he a had a perfect right to exercise the option. The argument should be focused on other matters not the least of which is if all this talk says a father should be present to support his wife and love his family shouldn't it apply to all including the very poor who may be working at the lowest wages and would lose very important income needed to feed and support his family?

The job one chooses certainly plays an important role in family life. If family is the most important feature of a lifetime and that is expressed as being with your family during all the important moments which include the quiet moments as well as the most prominent ones then one shouldn't choose to be a professional baseball player because there will be little time for family togetherness much less all the moving around as one is traded from one team to the next giving no chance for roots to take hold. The fact is one shouldn't choose many professions such as the military, travelling salesperson, or even the medical profession. All these careers interfere with family life of togetherness and sharing. However they provide other goodies which may not be available in other professions such as great food, shelter, clothing, education and all that stuff that good income provides.

Life is full of trade-offs. The biggest trade-off is where the effort is made to succeed and the price one is willing to pay for his or her definition of success. The driving force for many is money, power, influence while others look more to the tight knit family unit with the stability of a home, neighborhood, role models.
I knew a young man who declined a very lucrative offer for an international sales job because it would remove him from his family for a good part of the year. He never had the fame, or notoriety connected with successful people but he had his family even though the family paid it's price for this, prestigious colleges were out, but stability was in. Peculiarly many would view the professional man who makes the one time effort like the professional man who is there for the birthing event but absent for a good part of the growing up years as the success while the other one is quietly viewed by onlookers as the not so good one. Somehow I guess it is all in the eye of the beholder. However, trade-offs must always be considered.

With all this conversation over what Daniel Murphy should or should not have done or what those pundits should or should not have said is really diverting one from the real question. The real question should be if the right to be have a real family life which includes being with each other at the birth of one's child then why are the poorest among us denied that right? Just ask the guy who is barely making it if he would be paid if he took time off to be with his wife while she was giving birth and I bet the answer would be no, and maybe even result in the loss of his job if he took that time which should rightfully be his if he so chose. The real question should resolve itself about whether we as a nation concern ourselves with only the high and mighty and let the poor and needy scrape along thinking how lucky they are that we let them live off the crumbs that our society let them have.  Because at the end of the day those that can afford it like Mr. Murphy do what they please to do and those that can't do only what the ones in power let them do.

        

Slow Down You Move Too Fast

There comes a time in one's life when the decision has to be made to slow down or life will pass you by. There is so much emphasis put on succeeding that there is very little time left to just enjoying living.

A child doesn't even have time to be just a child to discover and enjoy his surroundings before he is in Pre-K which is followed by K and then the whole learning process from the best of elementary school to the best of high school to the best of universities. This is the constant pressure to learn the scholastic programs, earn great marks so that the better schools will accept you and perhaps give great scholarships. Between all that studying sports such as Baseball, Soccer maybe Basketball and Football are squeezed in and the real good ones can get a sports scholarship and then go on to the pros.As they age sports leave them and they are so engrossed in having a good time they are sleeping around with anyone who makes themselves available, drinking, smoking crack or Mary Jane, with nothing ever really having much real meaning the only goal is to sate themselves with their idea of success foisted on them by their parents and society as a whole. Everything is moving at breakneck speed all aimed to succeed and make tons of money and before it is realized the guys and gals are nearing thirty then breaking forty and suddenly youth is left behind and middle then old age takes over. With old age comes the realization that their lives were wasted. Maybe they are recognized in their field. Maybe they are financially stable and have no financial worries. Maybe they have great estates and continue to live in the lap of luxury. Maybe they have broken marriages, children out of control, an unsettled mind and body being kept alive by today's medicines and drugs. Maybe they missed the real meaning of life and missed living while they traveled at breakneck speed toward "success".

To all who want to take a moment to reflect I would like to off Gorden Jenkin's lyrics:

This Is All I Ask

As I approach the prime of my life

I find I have the time of my life

Learning to enjoy at my leisure

All the simple pleasure

And so I happily concede

This is all I ask

This is all I need

Beautiful girl, walk a little slower when you walk by me

Lingering sunset, stay a little longer with the lonely sea

Children everywhere, when you shoot at bad men, shoot at me

Take me to that strange enchanted land

Grown-ups seldom understand

Wandering rainbows, leave a bit of color for my heart to own

Stars in the sky, make my wish come true

Before the night has flown

And let the music play as long as there's a song to sing

Then I will stay younger than spring

 

        

The Big Bang Theory

Who the hell knows how this whole world and humans really started but as far as I can understand it all started with a composition of something round that had all the necessary components for life all wrapped up in the basic chemical form and it was hot I mean really boiling. Now I prefer to think that a super power that I refer to as God put this all together and knew what going to happen but HE/SHE wasn't going to micromanage so he/she let this little ball of hot chemicals boil until it exploded with a big bang. But as it exploded it expanded out and is still expanding today ever growing out from it's core to form this wonder we call galaxies. God looked around and saw all sizes of planets, stars and suns. Wow he thought, "Who would've thought that little concoction I cooked up with ever develop into this?".

Looking around he spotted one of the smallest planets orbiting around a super star at just the right distance so that it warmed the planet but didn't burn it up. This little sucker had all the right ingredients for God's next potpourri. He/She played around with different combinations of chemicals which were put into a molding unit but then was encased in solidified chemicals which he/she called skin. There were all sorts of things growing on this planet that were beautiful to the smell, eyes feel and taste.

One of the things he/she created was going to have the ability to think in scientific terms, reproduce  and roam this wonderful place making it better. All sorts of things, creatures were around and He/She had the idea to make what we call man/woman. The molding casks were set and all the right chemicals were put together even the ones necessary to make new ones. He/She ingeniously thought of self containment reproduction based on the exact thing that created and was still creating the galaxies, The Big Bang Theory. The woman would be the carrier. The experiment with the fish where the male carried just didn't have the right feel to it. The male never really adjusted the way all the other species did when the female carried. She would carry the little round egg which would be set on fire by the male and it would explode and expand and keep expanding until it would break out of the encasement and in a short time be able to take care of itself. Of course this doesn't always work out precisely as the offspring of many are never really ready to take care of themselves mainly because of over mothering but this is a better choice of male only fathering. He/She thought that it would be a good idea if there were some limitations placed on them because they would enjoy, at least the male would, reproducing so much that there would be over-population. There was the invention of "planned obsolescence" who many thought was thought of by General Motors but it was really He/She's idea. to keep this world from being destroyed by over-population.

Anyway that's it in a nutshell. Everything starts with a very small microscopic ball that needs to be set on a boiling plane until it explodes and expands and keeps expanding forever. Galaxies, Stars, Planets, Suns, Animals, vegetation everything. Of course if someone or something gets in the way the expansion is stopped, lets say by carbon released into space or what have you and then it is over. No more bang for the buck!

 

Success Can't Happen If You Are Afraid To Fail

Many never attain a goal or goals because they are afraid if they try they will fail. What they don't know is if they don't fail they shall never succeed. Success and failure are really related. They are like a coin with reverse, obverse, heads or tails. The fact of the matter is that there are far greater failures than successes.
There are a number of factors involved in rating an effort as successful or not.

First we have to consider who the monitor is and what the rules are that measure any effort. An individual baseball player is rated a good hitter if he succeeds 30% of the time which means he is failing 70%  of the time. This is the result of computing a batting average. But what is not recognized that the other side of this statistic is the fact that the pitchers who allow a combined .300 hitting average against them are considered
poor, failing despite the fact that they retire 70% of the batters they face and only the much smaller figure, 30% are successful against them. The measure is what finally results in wins and losses of games which by the way says if you win 70% while losing 30% the pitcher is regarded as a super star.

We can play with statistics all day but it is a dry way of facing the fact that m every thing worth striving for in each person's world is worth the try even if it results in failure because very rarely is the failure total and usually there is some success in the try which can be used in another effort which can result in success, probably not total for there is some failure in every success.

Many are afraid to take a chance at loving because of the fear of rejection. But if one never takes the chance of making themselves vulnerable they will never know the sweetness of that first kiss which leads to a loving and caring relationship which for many lasts a lifetime, but if it doesn't isn't it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all (quote the poet).

In many ways Jesus is a prime example of a person who took the chance and seemingly failed miserably but out of that failure actually changed the world. This is true even if one doesn't accept Jesus as the son of god because he lived and became involved and was not afraid of failure, which on the other side of his coin was very successful.

So for all of you who are reading this and have a secret desire to try something that all around you seem to say is foolish because it can never happen say goodbye to that advice and get off your butt and start to pursue your heart's desire without the fear of failure or looking foolish because in the effort to gain your goal any failure will be a building block which will eventually get you to the point where you will be satisfied with your success.

 

Life & Death

He was at the same church which he frequented growing up. The same church he received first holy communion, Confirmation. He was in the same church where some 57 years ago he and his bride said those words which bound them together "Until death do us part.". This was the place that was the start of so much of his life. Yet lately he found himself in the place where so much of his life marked "beginnings" celebrating lives that were ended. It wasn't so bad when the people he knew lived a full life and finally came to that point where they had to say goodbye and enter that great mysterious beyond to start another journey in another dimension. But it hurt when he found himself in that same church mourning the death of someone who seemingly didn't get a chance for a full life as their ending came when they were still relatively young and so much more was left to be done, so many more were dependent upon them. There were children who still needed them, a spouse who would be lost without a partner so loved, so needed for fulfillment.

But upon reflection he knew from the experience of his own life that no matter how much it appeared that there was nothing but grief after a tragedy. Other persons entered a life, other experiences filled the void and if only those left behind would realize this fact the period of mourning would be less and the task and joy of living a new life would soon take hold.

Death separated him from his love and he thought he would never love again but he found that among the living love makes life more beautiful and joyful for those who are not afraid to take the chance. Even among those he knew that left children the child grew into the adult, a beautiful woman, a handsome man, full of hope with their lives before them ready to be lived to the fullest.

The immediate aftermath of death however had to be filled with a period of healing. The hurt inflicted by the loss most always seems insurmountable. There must be enough time to let the healing process take place through grieving. The seven stages of grief are very necessary because without this many would slip into clinical depression and mental illness.The five stages of loss and grief are:

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

Acceptance has to be reached in order to avoid clinical depression and to go forward with living the life that has been dealt to you. But isn't this true in anything one does in life where a great loss has thrown everything one has planned to go awry? At first you can't believe "this" is happening. Then you are mad as hell at the forces that has caused this situation. After you may try prayer or whatever else seems to have a chance of working. The fact of being alone with your loss lets you to finally accept the fact the loss has happened and nothing can be done to correct that fact so new plans, new jobs, new people and new loves have to be made or you will just dry up and fade away mentally or physically.

It seems that nature is always regenerating itself. Seedlings turn into flowers, gigantic trees, but after awhile all growth runs it's course seemingly dies but it really does not, it actually returns to it's simplest form and starts to grow again in some form or another. What is left behind continues to battle the elements, it's natural enemies or whatever but the struggle continues and only the strong survive until something stronger destroys it and everything returns to it's natural state to regenerate itself into a replicate of what it once was or something different, composed of it's chemicals seemingly left behind.

As he reflected on these things he realized the beginnings his life had in this church and the endings he is involved in as well as his own ending which is sure to come as everything in nature has a beginning and an end seemingly, but is never ending. All creation, whether by God or by forces of nature actually survives in some form or another. Our physicality is immortal then. For those who believe in another dimension, perhaps a place called heaven continues in a spiritual form which is much freer than this physical world. 

The bier was wheeled to the back of the church to receive the Priest's final blessing before the coffin was transported to the cemetery for interment. Somehow he knew that all would heal itself as nature continues to function in it's inimitable way and joys await all those who never give up and continue to have high hopes that we are all part of a universe which will continue to function quite well and that was quite calming to him. 

    

Love Is Giving, Not Owning

It has occurred to me as my birthdays continue to pile up that even though we think we own things as we continue to accrue wealth, refine talents and build relationships through the cultivation of friendships and love whatever we have, whatever we are, whatever we will be is never owned on given to us to mange carefully as a steward. The definition of stewardship is "the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care". 

From the time we are little children we are developing our bodies, health, talents such as music and other arts. This is the time we are under the stewardship of our parents. They may think they own us but we knew that they didn't and the time would come when we would be on our own, acquiring and refining and in our minds owning all that we are. 

If we are careful all we have to manage including our love will include others. We will meet new people share our love, get married, have children own a house hopefully make at least enough to support all the obligations that we are putting on our shoulders. And in the process we think we have acquired things and people and we "own" them. 

What do we say to our lover? "You are mine and I am yours". This implies we "own" and are "owned" but in reality we give and receive and hopefully never possess another person because that would mean we would be prisoners of a jail that eventually would kill any freedom we might want to feel in order to grow in mind and spirit. We as lovers really are giving to one another a special form of love as they give this to us, not to own but to share and carefully nurture so we can grow as humans never to confine the other. I never want to own another nor do I want to be owned.  When perfidious actions ruin a relationship this means that the perfidious one was not a careful steward and actually was a terrible manager. Truth must always be a main factor in any part of life.

Many seem to think they own their children but in fact they don't. The stewardship we call parenting is very much needed as the children can not take care of themselves. Food, shelter, clothing, Schooling artistic development is all part of parenting which must have a foundation of love, of wanting the children to become who they were meant to be. Eventually, the child will break free and go out on his/her own to develop all their parents gave them including whatever genes they might have inherited. children are given to parents who never own them but have an obligation to help them develop and be ready to fly as an Eagle while they experience their own journey.

Material wealth is acquired but never fully owned. The rich man's grave is filled with the same dirt as the poor man's. Physical health is also lost along the way for some sooner than others but eventually this wealth of health is dissipated and what we thought we owned is gone forever.  Our talents too are eroded and gone too soon no matter what age we lose them. The great musician only creates and plays beautifully just so long but eventually like the wind the talent is gone never to be revived. 

All this should not be viewed as depressing but rather joyous. First of all we never own or are owned by any person or thing. This means we are free, free to share what we have from love, to joy to caring. Free to let our spiritual nature flow through our physical body and really enjoy living without encumbrances. Also this realization lets us realize that a full life is sharing, taking care of talents, ourselves and others and letting others take care of us as we take care of them. Parents taking care of children. Children taking care of parents. Friends always being friends. And Lovers always sharing their love. All this sounds a little Godly and maybe it is. Maybe that's what is meant by being "perfect" or at least trying to be. Never owning, always giving.

    

Let Me Vent

With all the hype leading up to the Super Bowl the game played proved only one thing; After all is said and done it is ONLY A GAME of football, nothing more nothing less. But one thing it proved was that this country, maybe the world for that matter, is so much in the dumps it needs some excuse to be happy, to celebrate, and that is what this week of Supercilious S**T provided. The best part of the game was Bruno Mars, forget about "The Red Hot Chili Peppers", and the commercials which were super for the most part this year. For the life of me I can't imagine needing a reason to celebrate more than the fact that we are alive and maybe can help someone who needs help. But a game? Come on!!!!!

Why President Obama allows Bill O'Reilly access to him is beyond me. Yeah, I know O'Reilly has a big following but he is a big blowhard who uses rough house tactics to bully the interviewee and nobody can win against blowhard tactics especially one who is in politics much less the President of these United States. O'Reilly interrupted, didn't allow the President to finish some of his answers and showed great disrespect. This of course has provided Fox News with more fodder for their propaganda that President Obama is a wuss and should be replaced by anyone who is a conservative who wants to keep taxes for the rich and the middle-class and the poor under their thumbs. President Obama wins no points from the right nor the left from this interview.

The Olympic Games has lost their luster but of course again the world needs a reason to celebrate. They are all about money and political objectives. The Host country makes a bundle and always seems to raise themselves in the eyes of the civilized world. The athletes eventually turn professional if they aren't already. And there is there much talk about gay issues. Just let them all, men and women competitors compete and the hell with how they enjoy sex or whom they wish to love. Come on if a guy can throw a shot put further than anyone else who the heck cares if he is straight or not. AND by the way why do we use the term straight for a heterosexual person? Does that imply a gay person is "crooked"? What bull!!!

Unless someone comes up with proof that Eric Snowden was a spy for a foreign country  you'll never convince me that he isn't a "whistle-blower" and one that has done more good than harm. I can't believe all these politicians, President Obama included really believe he could have gone through channels to accomplish the same results. Just look how shamefully Chelsea Manning was treated? They kept him in solitary confinement and finally convicted him and sent him to prison. I know he was a solider but they could have court marshaled him and treated him in a better manner. Snowden could just imagine spending most of his remaining lifetime in prison or just being kept in some far off place if he went through the "proper" channels. And I don't care what the courts say the whole NASA thing with it's FISA courts just don't smack of what a Democracy should do more like a Dictatorship.

Isn't it a funny thing that Vocational schools were phased out a long time ago and now all of a sudden the President and some educational gurus have discovered that we need schools that teach vocations, like electricians, carpenters, mechanical drawing (is that still around) and maybe all that other schooling that is being forced on our young at a great cost isn't really needed in all cases. How come we were so dumb back then and now they are so smart? These great thinkers of today. AND why do Presidents and high administrators of University's have to be paid so much. Maybe higher educational costs wouldn't be so great if these guys weren't paid so much?

Pope Francis is really running against the establishment and he better watch his back, remember Pope John Paul the First. He was healthy, energetic and considered liberal. Thirty-three days after his election he died suddenly and mysteriously. I'm not saying anything other that Pope Francis just watch your back.  There are conservatives on a high level who are not happy with your approach. But we the faithful love you!

The Yankees are crazy for spending so much money on the Japanese pitching star Masahiro Tanaka  for seven years at around $144 million besides a posting fee of $20 million to his Japanese team. They need more help than a pitcher who has shown brilliance in Japan which I am not sure is equivalent to our triple A leagues. The Yanks have had two pitchers from Japan who were flops one never made it out of the minor leagues and has returned to Japan. They have a lot of holes to fill, too many to go into here. I think they are nuts. But what do I know? Cashman and the Steinbrenner crew have a many billion dollar operation going well and they haven't asked for my input. We shall see what we shall see!!!