Memorial Day\A Day of Remembrance

He knew Memorial Day, formally known as Decoration Day, came into being following the Civil War honoring the soldiers of Union and Confederate Armies and had morphed into a day of remembrance for all who had served and gave their lives in the service of this country. This had also developed into a general remembrance of all deceased relatives. This particular observance, for him, was really only about remembering his time with her. There were times he thought he got over her and could get on with his life but there were times like this that he couldn't get thoughts of her to leave him.

They met when the world was very young for them. They were on the threshold of life with opportunities spreading out before them. She was the most beautiful gal he had ever seen. The minute he laid his eyes upon her he knew whatever life might hold in store for him it would be empty without her. He kept pursuing her and she kept evading him until , as he liked to say, he chased her until she finally caught him. She was from a different background than he and he found everything that was different about her exciting. Her beauty was matched by the fire in her spirit. Their life together was not idyllic but with all the bumps and grinds of living their love became more intense. There were times that they really couldn't live with one another but they knew they would die without each other, to hold, to fight, to love passionately.

Somehow they got through most of their life without killing one another and they were entering the later stages where they could be comfortable being together and enjoying life. Then one day she started repeating herself and asking the same questions over and over again. The Doctors weren't sure of what was wrong but they were in agreement that something was amiss. Then one Doctor gave the diagnoses, Alzheimer's Disease. They left his office and sat in their car holding each other as the tears flowed. They made an agreement that they would cry now but after that they would face this illness with faith in God and the knowledge that together they'd get through this thing together laughing not crying. 

These thoughts were flooding his mind as he stood at her grave site. He thought about all the times that they fought this situation. The Respite groups, caregiver support groups, more hospital visits finally the Nursing Home stay. All in all it was about fifteen years of the long goodbye. The last year she had slipped into quiet days and had to be lifted in and out of her wheel chair. It was obvious she was dieing yet he couldn't let her go. He was with her at almost every waking moment. He talked bravely but he really couldn't imagine life without her presence. She was still the most beautiful gal he had ever laid eyes on. She was still there. 

It is said by some spiritualists that there are times when those who are very ill want to be released into the spiritual realm but they are held back by those who still want them with them and they can't bear to leave because of the love bond between them. As he stood by her grave site this Memorial Day he thought of her last day. His Daughter had come to visit and it gave him a chance to take a break and go for a walk around the block. When he came back someone they barely knew came to pay her respects, as all in the Home knew the time was fast approaching. They both went into the room together. His Daughter was at the side of the bed stroking her mother's hair, of course her eyes were closed and she seemed at peace. Suddenly this woman burst into tears and stared sobbing out loud. He tried to comfort her and finally did after taking her into his arms and soothing her. When she left, he and his daughter sat away from the bed, his back to it, and talked and laughed. His daughter suddenly looked and said I think Mom' may have gone. He went to the side of the bed and tried to wake her but couldn't. Time of death around 4:15 PM, cause of death listed as heart failure but it was really Alzheimer's. As he reflected on that day he supposed she took the time available to leave as the spiritualists say, when he couldn't hold her back. She went softly without any shown distress which would have wrecked him and his daughter and she went loving them as she always did. As he stood at her grave site he thought of the lyrics to Softly, As I Leave You There and thought "I bet she is taking this moment on this day of remembrance to let me know what really was going on that day and how she felt. Somehow this brought peace to him.

Softly, I will leave you softly

For my heart would break

If you should leave

And see me go

So I leave you softly

Long before you miss me

Long before your arms beg me to stay

For one more hour

For one more day

After all the years

I can't bear the tears

To fall, so softly

As I leave you there

Softly, long before you kiss me

Long before your arms can beg me stay

For one more hour

For one more day

After all the years

I can't bear the tears

To fall, so softly

As I leave you there

As I leave you there

As I leave you there  

Softly As I Leave You - Lena Horne 4 min - Dec 31, 2010 - Uploaded by Momentoustiger We lost a great lady...As the year ends..We tribute! youtube.com

Nobody Asked Me But;

Wasn't it only a few years ago or maybe sooner that everyone was toasting President Obama for his gutsy call in nailing OBL? Now aren't many Tea Baggers and Republicans toasting him for being afraid and timid?

Did anyone take note that the Rapture didn't happen, yet the nut who said it was going to happen is still alive and kicking and being covered by the press? By the way he says the day passed in quiet judgement and the world will end Oct. 21, 2011. I bet he was wrong. No one want to cover the bets?

I think music is one of the greatest healers of the soul gifted to the human race. We all have "our" music from "our time" but I think the lyrics of the standards are pure poetry that soothe the broken hearts and spur the romanticist for example Jobin and Gilbert's :

"Meditation"

In my loneliness when you're gone

And I'm all by myself and I need your caress

I just think of you and the thought of you holding me near

Makes my loneliness soon disappear

Though you're far away

I have only to close my eyes and you are back to stay

I just close my eyes and the sadness that missing you brings

Soon is gone and this heart of mine sings

Yes I love you so and that for me is all I need to know

I will wait for you till the sun falls from out of the sky

For what else can I do

I will wait for you, meditating how sweet life

Will be when you come back to me

 Am I the only person that has run into people who are for smaller government but see no reason to stop the government from funding research for Cancer, Autism, Alzheimer's  and other diseases because they have a personal interest as someone close to them is struck by these calamities? By the way not only research is involved but the establishment of special schools, respite programs and nursing homes and hospice funding is connected with government funding through such programs as Medicaid and Medicare. 

Can someone tell me what is so sacrosanct about taxing the most wealthy including business a few more percentage points in order to balance the budget? Why can't the USA cut defense spending, ever? Does anyone like the current pretenders to the throne the Republican Party seems to be foisting on the American Public? Does anyone really understand what Paul Ryan is saying about his plan to cut the budget? I mean, cutting Medicare for those under 55 when they reach 65 seems OK to him since he'll be financially secure unless he gets too greedy. So if he and his ilk can do it why can't everyone? He'll probably be a Lobbyist when he leaves Congress or maybe he'll parley this into being President, then he won't have a worry in the world. BUT if those under 55 now when they reach 65 then, will because the voucher plan won't be able to cover their medical expenses by a long shot. 

Has anyone topped George and Ira Gershwin as America's top composers?

"Summertime"

Summertime, and the livin' is easy

Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high

Oh! Your Daddy's rich and your Ma is good lookin'

So, hush little baby, don't you cry . . .

One of these mornin's you're gonna rise up singin'

Then you'll spread your wings, and you'll take to the sky

But 'till that mornin' there's a nothin' can harm you,

with Daddy and Mammy standin' by . . .

But 'till that mornin' there's a nothin' can harm you,

with Daddy and Mammy standin' by . . .

Music by George Gershwin

with lyrics by Ira Gershwin and Du Bose Heyward, 1933

 Just had a call from a guy I know who really disliked Obama care. It so happens this guy has a wife who is ill physically and mentally. She had used up their mental health in-hospital care and he has been struggling with her treatment because her Doctor wants to hospitalize her for a short time in order to properly treat her. The insurance company just told him that under the Obama Heath care bill the requirements they placed on those they covered has gone away. He can now be covered when she is hospitalized for proper treatment. Needless to say he loves Obama care now. Nobody asked me but I predict that once he gets over his feeling of elation he again will find fault with Obama care. It is human nature especially for those who really can't stand the idea of the Obama Presidency, for no particular reason except they don't like him.

Youthful Indiscretions Do Come Home To Roost!

Sam entered the confessional. He chose the old type rather than face to face as this was something he was really wrestling with and preferred to discuss it in anonymity. As he knelt in the darkness the face high panel slid open and he could see a shadow of the priest sitting there. He started, "Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been about a year since my last..." he was interrupted by the priest, "Sam, is that you?". "Shit, just what I didn't want."


"Yeah, it's me. Paul?" Paul had been Sam's friend for many years and his Confessor as well, but face to face. "What's up Sam?" Father Paul was a bit perplexed as they usually met face to face but hadn't for some time now. Sam explained that he was in a sort of a delicate situation and really wanted an anonymous Confession but since they had started this maybe it was best to continue it to the bitter end. Sam requested that Paul would address him as 'my son" and he would be addressed as Father. Paul was uncomfortable with this since they knew each other so well and Sam was more than twenty years Paul's senior. Sam admitted that he was never comfortable with face to face confession saying he would be more comfortable if it took place at the local Pizzeria with a slice and beer in hand. Father Paul tried to get into why Sam was away from confession over a year. Sam responded that at his age there was very little to confess. When he was younger he had anger issues but now getting angry was too tiring. The things that placed into the occasion of sin no longer placed him anywhere. Even when he happened upon the real sexy scenes on HBO he would be bored and fall asleep. He did note that the Borgia's did bring to light that many Popes had illegitimate children but they didn't use birth control and they didn't marry. Father Paul didn't seem to happy with these observations. So he asked, "What brings you here today, my son?"

"Father, some time ago I hurt my back and was directed to a Chiropractor. When I first met her she struck me immediately of a girl I dated some fifty-seven years ago. My condition proved to be more complicated than usual which necessitated many visits for a few months for treatment. The more she treated me the more I remembered this young girl I had loved, briefly but passionately, so many years ago. I became infatuated with this young lady who was young enough to be my daughter. Every-time she touched me she aroused passions that I thought died with my wife. I did some investigation of her and hired a detective to give all the background I needed. It seems that her mother's name was Roberta which was the name of the girl I dated and which she looked so much like. It seems that her mother never married and her daughter never knew her father. While this information was being gathered I started to talk with her during my Chiropractic treatments. I got her to trust me like a father and she agreed to go out to dinner with me. We had quite a few dinners and for some strange reason she was attracted to me. We became intimate but not all the way. My Catholic upbringing! I want her passionately."

Father Paul had to admit he really couldn't see what the problem would be since there were two adult people who seemed to be genuinely in love and at this late stage there didn't seem to be a problem of an unwanted child. So even if the girl was "stupid" enough to get into a marriage with a guy who was really an "old man" there didn't seem to be any sin attached to this.

Sam responded, Father, there is a few things I haven't told you yet. Father said "Go on my son." "When I was going with Roberta we became intimate. Back then this was difficult thing for a gal to do and she became frightened that she would become pregnant. She told me she wasn't but we broke up shortly after. Her daughter, my Chiropractor, was born some months after we broke up. The woman I am in love with and have such passionate feeling about may, could be my daughter."

Father Paul was very shaken by this and insisted that Sam tell this lady everything so that a DNA test could be made. But Sam wasn't so sure he wanted to do that.Father Paul shouted in a stage whisper, "You are talking about an incestuous relationship." Sam protested that we don't know that for a fact and besides they never met  before this year and they couldn't have children so what was the harm/ Father said that Sam had to follow through with this through what-ever the outcome maybe, not doing it was sinful, unfair and hurtful to the women he professed to love. In any case no absolution could be given until Sam did the right thing.

I will leave you with you choice as to how the story ends, a little like the Lady and the Tiger. The first choice is that Sam tells her and she is his daughter and they live happily ever after as father and daughter, or she is so pissed she hates him for the rest of their lives. The second door is, that Sam doesn't get the testing and they marry and are happy in connubial bliss until Sam dies in a few years with a smile on his face. The third door is that Sam wakes up from  this very disturbing dream with his back still killing him but with another appointment with this pretty Chiropractor. The reader's choice? I know which one I have taken.

Have We Lost Our Sense of Wonder?

Webster's New World Dictionary defines wonder thus; "a person, thing, or event causing astonishment, and admiration: marvel". I might add, something that takes your breath away and leaves you stunned in your tracks.  There are things that occur each and every day that should cause a sense of wonderment but because they do occur so often and in what we would call the natural state we take them for granted or don't even recognize the magic around us. Many would like to say we lose our sense of wonder as we age implying that the young have this sense. From infancy actually we are being groomed to bury the sense of wonder and just accept the daily act of experiencing new things as though it is nothing special. Maybe this is needed or else we couldn't focus on obtaining objectives and goals if we were always in awe of our surroundings. Thinking about this concept led me to contemplate the various things I come in contact with from both the natural and super natural that I have really taken for granted. 

For those of us who believe, Easter is really about an event that should leave us stunned and breathless, I  mean, Dead and now Alive! Yeah I know there are religious celebrations but aren't they more about the clothes, family meals Easter Bunnies? There is  a kind of a reenactment of this type of thing that we do every day. Our bodies get tired, need sleep and after a period of unconsciousness we rise refreshed (I hope). We don't know why this type of activity is needed but without it we would die. We don't give a second thought to our bodies or mind unless we get sick. Just think, we are really a collection of solidified chemicals operating through some electrical system that has a network of nerves through our spine up into our brain which somehow produces thoughts which may be a reflection of our soul which is formless. We don't stand in awe of all this because we don't really understand it but it is wonderful. Is it not?

Some other things that might cause wonder could be that experience that can only take place once and when it does we don't realize how full of wonder it was. My first kiss occurred in a hallway when I was three and playing house with my next door neighbor. A very long time ago but it was sweet, full of innocence giving a bit of an entry into an older life. I still remember it and the bonding of two small people. Almost twenty years later my first kiss with my wife took place on a starlit night overlooking Manhasset Bay. A different kind of kiss but one I still remember as our lips met for the first time  not quite as innocent as the other first kiss but just as important. Wonderful moments in the development of a life. There are other moments that cause a sense of wonder when contemplated. I know a person who has a tree that produces peony flowers which are beautiful. To me the wonder is in how a seed can produce tall trees and beautiful flowers. To this person the wonder is in the same things I see but more because they bond with a person, experiences that she had that the Peony Tree inspires memories of. Isn't this something we should be in wonderment about and awed how the human mind can take inanimate objects and bring them alive with events that seemingly have passed but still live in our mind?

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west and the views are awe inspiring. The stars light up the night sky with the night's orb burning with the light provided by the sun which we won't see 'till morning. Many years ago my wife and I married and shared many kisses and produced children who produced children and I've got to see all of that. Now that I reflect on it all I stand in amazement and marvel at the wonderful things that are happening all around me all the time. 

Have I lost the sense of wonder? Maybe I'm just getting it back.

  

The Party's Over

Didn't they realize he could hear them? They were all gathered around his bed. The Doctor assured them the end was near and they should consider taking him off the hook ups the hospital had him tied to. He had not opened his eyes in about a week and he was going back and forth between consciousness and coma  or was it sleep. What the hell he thought he lived the good life and although he wasn't one hundred he was pretty near. He wasn't sure of his age since his birth date was elusive sometimes remembered sometimes not. He knew he had many years though. The sound of their voices were fading as though he was entering a tunnel and the voices were sounding as though they were in an echo chamber. He was slipping back in his mind some eighty years or so and he no longer was hearing those voices talking of his demise. He saw himself walking into Sunny's Bar & Grill the place he played for about a year on Saturday nights. He was the trumpet in a quartet that featured Tenor Sax, Piano and Drums and anyone who might drop in for a jam session. He was the youngest of the quartet and entered the bar with youthful enthusiasm happy in the fact that the patrons all knew him and gave him some sort of celebrity status. The older guys brushed it off but he revelled in it with youthful enthusiasm. The Bar was dimly lit and filled with serious drinkers in a blue collar neighborhood, boiler makers were the main drink at the Bar and since they didn't bother getting up early on Sundays they drank plenty of them. He walked through the Bar to a door at rear which opened to a large room with wooden floors and tables set up for customers which came every Saturday. They had as little as twenty people and as much as one hundred and fifty depending on what was going on in the neighborhood. They loved the music that was played, some Dixie, some Latin (Cha-Cha, Rumba, Samba), and as the night played on and the drinking took effect plenty of slow Fox Trots, romance was being served up for late night promises of love.


The night started out at nine and went to one, as the law said no more drinks after one Sunday morning. The place never got crowded until ten or ten thirty. At around eleven fifteen Mae, an old lady, maybe around sixty five, who had been drinking for many hours at the Bar, would come in and be welcomed loudly. She had on an old slightly dirty house dress and she'd break up the place with Red Hot Mama songs like "Won't you Come Home, Bill Bailey' "I'll be glad when you're Dead You Rascal You". There would be whistles and cheers as the place rocked and whiskey and pitchers of beer flowing freely. Tommy, the singing waiter would follow with some Al Jolson type of songs which in the Spring would include "April Showers". He finished his act with novelty songs like "The Tattooed Women" which was about a woman who had tattoos all over her body and the song mentioned where and had a comment about it, ending with "...That's why I go to Jersey every day."  The crowed roared whistled and ordered more drinks and some food and looked forward to the last hour of music and dancing. Around mid-night the Trumpet Player would sing "I'm In The Mood For Love" and "Don't Blame me". There were schmaltzy Trumpet solos ala Bobby Hackett and the patrons in their slightly drunken stupor would hold each other tighter, closer and sway sensuously as the night was coming to a close.


He was floating back and forth through the haze of his memories and the voices talking in hushed tones about how they were going to miss him but it would be better for all concerned if he checked out tonight. The voices were beginning to fade into the echo chamber again and he was back at Sunny's in Howard Beach on Cramp Place. Around eleven a wedding party came in. The Bride, Groom Best Man the ladies in waiting, the whole crew. They looked like they were three sheets to the wind already and they got to drinking right away. The quartet was on a break and suddenly a fight broke out among the people in the Wedding Party. The Band immediately headed for the Band Stand to protect their instruments and stay out of the way of any punches. The Sax and the Trumpet players were concerned with their lip, embouchure, while the piano and drums were concerned with their hands. Guys from the Bar and the bartender and waiters restored order and calm. But before they did they asked the Band to play an upbeat tune. The Piano player asked what happened and it seems the best man made a play for the bride and she reciprocated which annoyed the Groom greatly. With this in mind and acquiescing to the request for music the piano play yelled out the key and broke into "Somebody Stole MY Gal". Need less to say not everyone found this funny but order was restored.

The last set of the evening had slow music with the admonition to the girls to be careful and the guys to drive carefully so we'd all meet next week. The set might consist of "Dream", "Show Me The Way To Go Home" but would always end with "The Party's Over". The words of "The Party's Over" was in his mind as he returned through that tunnel to the hospital room and those voices which he wasn't sure he recognized. But he couldn't get those lyrics out of his head:

The party's over

It's time to call it a day

No matter how you pretend

It's time to wind up

The masquerade

Just make your mind up

The piper must be paid

The party's over

The candles flicker and dim

You danced and dreamed through the night

It seemed to be right

just being with him

Now you must wake up

All dreams must end

Take off your make-up

The party's over

It's all over my friend

You danced and dreamed through the night

It seemed to be right

just being with him

Now you must wake up

All dreams must end

Take off your make-up

The party's over

It's all over my friend

Then the voices stopped. The memories ceased. The party was finally over but it was a good party.