Memory plays tricks . But it isn't memory that causes this it is the Id, Ego and Super-Ego that transforms things that actually happened to what a person "wants" it to be.
I know two people who shared a sexual relationship, they kissed, hugged, rolled around together fully naked and shared very intimate moments and actions. Yet one says they never had sex while the other remembers when that person screamed in delightful ecstasy actually thanking the partner for passion and sexual delights.
This dichotomy is not only happening at the sexual level it happens at all levels. It comes to mind that one person's parent was going through the pain of dementia which included anger, wandering, forgetting and great confusion. The caregiver knew someone who experienced all this including the confusion of figuring out finances and placement in hospitals and nursing homes. The caregiver enlisted this person's help including listening to the fact the patient couldn't change but the healthy ones could and should just to keep everyone's sanity. Talking with the parent, accompanying the caregiver to hospitals and nursing homes until everything was settled. Help was asked and given even though the experienced one was reliving the pain of what had to be lived with the problems encountered previously. The passage of time has left different impressions of what had happened. The helper remembers the time given with love and help that was needed. The caregiver, as time passes, seems to think no one helped. Nothing malicious in this but just the way it is as time changes situations and people become distant for whatever reasons.
Humans have a way of changing events in their minds to fit the circumstances they want because maybe it is too painful to admit their childhood was lacking parental love and guidance, or perhaps a breakup of a love affair happened because they simply fell out of love and what was exciting once is no longer exciting. Whatever the reason the memories are tainted by what the mind wants to accept.
My thought is one can never be truly happy living a lie. One has to clear the mind tricks the brain plays upon us because only by finding the truth will we be able to understand who we are and where we should be going on this highway of life.
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