Monday, January 12, 2015
When Love Cools
In the beginning they were able to speak forever. Together or through the mail or whatever tools were available for communication. There was nothing they couldn't explore, dig deep into, it was all pretty exciting.
Their conversations were full of wonder as they explored ideas, shared past experiences, spoke of future hopes. Each time they explored the world of idea, concepts, life lived and hoped to live.
The last few months there seemed to be something going on. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it but it was becoming clearer to him as their relationship developed that she was losing the excitement that was there before. Everything they did seemed to be slotted into some time frame that was easy for her. She felt the need to spend more time with friends and even if she didn't the need was there explicitly or implicitly. Certain subjects just weren't interesting to her. She either rejected them outright or became distracted as they talked.
At one time she had expressed the thought that he was the most interesting person she knew. Now it felt that almost any subject he brought up bored her. He was sure he went from the most interesting to the most boring fellow she could be wasting her time with. the old song, "This Is The Beginning of The End" wouldn't leave his mind. It wasn't all true but in his mind was an omen of things to come.
This is the beginning of the end, I can see it in your eyes, in everything you do, And you’re afraid to tell me that we’re through But I can tell by looking at you. This is the beginning of the end, You just give yourself away with everything you say, And though you never told me we must part, Still I can read the writing in your heart. Why is it now when I hold your hand There is some little something that I miss, What has become of the warmth in your smile, And where is that little mischief in your goodnight kiss? This is the beginning of the end, I can see the thrill is gone, why let it linger on, Why lie to me and say it isn’t so For when I hold you in my arms I know That this, this is the beginning of the end.
He knew that the words and full meaning of the song didn't apply to their relationship yet he knew that whatever they had before was fading into oblivion. One time just being together brought happiness and that didn't happen anymore. He knew in any relationship there are three sides to every problem, her side, his side and the truth. But sometimes the truth is staring all right in the face and no one wants to recognize it which could be for a myriad of reasons all of which seem easier to accept rather that the truth, so one lives in denial.
He wasn't quite sure how he was going to proceed but he knew he had to do something and do it soon.
Maybe he thought the truth of the matter was he had just overstayed his welcome.