Thursday, February 27, 2014
Love Is Giving, Not Owning
It has occurred to me as my birthdays continue to pile up that even though we think we own things as we continue to accrue wealth, refine talents and build relationships through the cultivation of friendships and love whatever we have, whatever we are, whatever we will be is never owned on given to us to mange carefully as a steward. The definition of stewardship is "the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care".
From the time we are little children we are developing our bodies, health, talents such as music and other arts. This is the time we are under the stewardship of our parents. They may think they own us but we knew that they didn't and the time would come when we would be on our own, acquiring and refining and in our minds owning all that we are.
If we are careful all we have to manage including our love will include others. We will meet new people share our love, get married, have children own a house hopefully make at least enough to support all the obligations that we are putting on our shoulders. And in the process we think we have acquired things and people and we "own" them.
What do we say to our lover? "You are mine and I am yours". This implies we "own" and are "owned" but in reality we give and receive and hopefully never possess another person because that would mean we would be prisoners of a jail that eventually would kill any freedom we might want to feel in order to grow in mind and spirit. We as lovers really are giving to one another a special form of love as they give this to us, not to own but to share and carefully nurture so we can grow as humans never to confine the other. I never want to own another nor do I want to be owned. When perfidious actions ruin a relationship this means that the perfidious one was not a careful steward and actually was a terrible manager. Truth must always be a main factor in any part of life.
Many seem to think they own their children but in fact they don't. The stewardship we call parenting is very much needed as the children can not take care of themselves. Food, shelter, clothing, Schooling artistic development is all part of parenting which must have a foundation of love, of wanting the children to become who they were meant to be. Eventually, the child will break free and go out on his/her own to develop all their parents gave them including whatever genes they might have inherited. children are given to parents who never own them but have an obligation to help them develop and be ready to fly as an Eagle while they experience their own journey.
Material wealth is acquired but never fully owned. The rich man's grave is filled with the same dirt as the poor man's. Physical health is also lost along the way for some sooner than others but eventually this wealth of health is dissipated and what we thought we owned is gone forever. Our talents too are eroded and gone too soon no matter what age we lose them. The great musician only creates and plays beautifully just so long but eventually like the wind the talent is gone never to be revived.
All this should not be viewed as depressing but rather joyous. First of all we never own or are owned by any person or thing. This means we are free, free to share what we have from love, to joy to caring. Free to let our spiritual nature flow through our physical body and really enjoy living without encumbrances. Also this realization lets us realize that a full life is sharing, taking care of talents, ourselves and others and letting others take care of us as we take care of them. Parents taking care of children. Children taking care of parents. Friends always being friends. And Lovers always sharing their love. All this sounds a little Godly and maybe it is. Maybe that's what is meant by being "perfect" or at least trying to be. Never owning, always giving.