Monday, August 19, 2013
Life & Death Is All About Growing
There were so many people ready to offer advice and information about subjects they had no personal experience. It really confused him as to why they thought they knew more about certain subjects than those who did have personal experiences. He also knew that personal experience wasn't a qualifier that anyone really knew all there was to know about any subject but it certainly helped, at least, in the understanding of any subject being discussed.
It really bemused him when people who had no children offered expert advice on to raise them or how parents should react in any given situation that had an impact on the child's life. Having walked the walk is completely different from those who talk the talk. A father who is totally committed to his children can understand without agreeing with any actions, how a father could become so frightened at the thought of the enormity of the task and devotion of being a steward of his child's life that he might break perhaps becoming unbalanced completely rejecting them. The task is enormous and it is for life while the role changes as the child ages the commitment never does. Some might think a relationship developed with children after they reached their formative years actually replaces a parent's experience from the beginning but it doesn't not even in a small way. Holding that little baby after it comes out of the mother's womb, working for success with the goal of providing love and a good life for this little lovable creature and being there through early illness and later joys and disappointments, trying to provide the guidance that will bring happiness in current and later life is a stake in that child's life from the very beginning. No matter how one might try to duplicate that one can't unless one moves in and shares the moments of joy, fears and accomplishments as they live life. Those who try to do this from a distance may think they have experienced a relationship between child and parent but they don't come close because they were always ready to love from afar and the relationship I am talking about only comes from living up close without ever walking away not even for a moment.
Sometimes one holds on to personal experience as the only clue to one's reality. He felt personal experiences should ever be evolving and used as a base leading to growth but that means one should be ready for new adventures and experiences allowing one to grow. When he was a young man he was a musician that held sway with older musicians who influenced his thinking about rock and roll. They convinced him it was a fad of the rise of rhythm and blues but would fade since they only used three or four basic chords and relied too much on the beat. Letting their personal experience influence his, he rejected rock & roll as a fad. How wrong they, he was. Only after he got out of the business of playing music he opened his ears to the sound of music and lo and behold rock and roll was really good. The Beatles were geniuses, The Moody Blues were really different and good. So he used his knowledge of music to appreciate the sounds and life of the art. He appreciated all kinds of music, Country & Western, Rock and the music it morphed into. He also returned to listening to classics and Opera. He knew though that he couldn't speak to actual creation and performing of the music he was listening to because his personal experience was limited. He could appreciate certain aspects more than others who had no personal experience but the ones like his sons who walked the walk of Rock could really know the experience so he would take a back seat to them unless they ventured into Jazz, The American Songbook, Sinatra, Goodman and the like. The point is that he was only a visitor with some background as it refers to certain type of music while he was somewhat of an expert on some other forms.
The one thing he has experienced in his life is the realization of how much he really does not know. The young seem to think they know everything or more than anyone who might disagree with them. While he realizes he knows very little he also realizes he has experienced life in all it's forms. Life that hold great joys, accomplishments and failures. Life that has a great part of it being death. Death not being an end of life, of learning, but a new beginning. One thing he knew he could only talk the talk that came from his walk and he would remain silent to those who had other walks. By listening he would learn so much more.