Friday, July 27, 2012

The best-laid schemes o' mice and men Gang aft agley

Life is filled with quirky turns that one never expects. Everything seems to be going in a specific direction then suddenly a confluence of happenings occurs and one finds himself in a situation, in a life never  imagined or even wanted yet better than anyone could imagine.

Some six years ago he was OK with his situation. His wife was in a Nursing Home slowly succumbing to the Brain eating disease called Alzheimer's. She didn't know him but he knew her and that's all that mattered. His mother after being felled by a major stroke some fourteen years prior was near death and his brother was falling to lung cancer. But he had come to accept all this. While he would've planned it slightly different he was OK with his life as he got major support from his children to help him get through the night.

As he was relaxing watching TV at home during a major storm before going to the Nursing Home a confluence of events happened that changed his life forever. A major storm caused his home to be destroyed  His insurance company went bankrupt. He had no place to live and no insurance money to put him up at a Motel but he had offers from his children to live with them until matters could be settled. His Daughter-In-Law Kathleen offered her house and he accepted. He wasn't sure if Kathleen really wanted him to accept because their relationship had been a bit thorny over the years. He figured he would handle that but her house was in the vicinity of the Nursing Home. So with both Kathleen and he holding their collective breaths they prepared themselves for what would be only a few months at best. How wrong they both were.

It wasn't as if they didn't know each other. They had known each other since Kathy was a teenager working in a Saturday program for kids and parents in need. He did notice that this little Irish Coleen was interested in his son who also worked the program. Now what he noticed was his son used to be active with some of the other teeny boppers and when he got too active Kathy would seem to move in to distract the activity. Afterwards they became active in a what looked like a pretty hot relationship which he guessed it was as they married and set about making a life for themselves.

So what's this thorny relationship you were referring to? Sometimes he couldn't help himself. He knew she came from a real Irish family. He figured they sat down to eat spoke in hushed tones and didn't show much emotions. Well when she first came over to eat with his family there was maybe 10 or 12 people there. The food was spicy. The discussions were loud. AND the TV was turned towards the table with a game of something or other on. This might of seen a bit confusing to this little Irish Lass, who was nervous, and he spotted that so he teased her. One thing about Kathy, she doesn't like to be teased. His whole family spent most of their time together teasing each other loudly and laughing with some crying. All this became to much for Kathy. She went home that night feeling that she couldn't wait to get home to her quiet home and bland food. She might have regurgitated the Spaghetti Carbonara but at least her headache was letting up.

Well as the days and years went by, he continued to find ways to annoy Kathy. As she became more comfortable being part of this crazy family she fought back. But since he was in the whole thing just to get her goat she could never say anything that could upset him. She even let her voice rise to a crescendo now and then that would fit in any Italian's table. She didn't really hate him but she could have. He saw that she and his son were soul mates and that was the only important thing that mattered to him. BUT he would never show it. Also he thought Kathy really like his wife and that is important too.

So here we find ourselves with the confluence of events that throws these people together living in the same house. This couldn't work out could it? Well first of all Kathy's goodness came into play and she really felt sorry for him and for his wife. He decided no matter how much he wanted to tease her so he could see her Irish rise to the surface he really couldn't because he would be disrupting their life styles. When he teased her and she went home it was over. She could call him a SOB and her husband could hold her and comfort her and it would actually be making their love life better. Not now, he had to be a good boy.

It is some 6 1/2 years later and a lot of other events have happened which led to Kathy's family and her father-in-law living together in the rebuilt house and getting along nicely thank you. He still sees where he could drive her crazy but he wants a quiet home. He also sees that she puts on a facade which doesn't let anyone except those close to her see her softness and caring. He isn't sure where this will end but he figures if he can keep his speech down a bit in a few years he will bite the dust and they will have all survived.

In these years many things have changed besides them living together. His wife passed on to what he was sure was her release from Alzheimer's. Though she is gone he will never forget her. His Mom and brother also passed away as did some close relatives and friends. He was getting ready to join them all as he settled into waiting for his decline, not depressed, not ever as he liked to laugh too much. But he became to accept what he thought was God's will. Then a confluence of events happened which were spurred by this new social interaction on Facebook of all places. What was an old guy like him doing on Facebook?

His Daughter is a budding author, a good one too, was starting to Blog. When he told her he found that interesting she encouraged him to try it. One can't Blog without readers and one of the things to do was to get circulation. He had to join Twitter and Facebook. But he rarely did anything with these things except post his blog. Then one day he had a friend request from a name he did not recognize at first he was about to delete but something prodded him to check this name out. He went to her page and saw that they worked together some 25 years ago. She was a kid then and for all intents and purposes, she compared to him, was still a kid. Anyway he befriended her and they met for lunch and he had to admit a spark was starting to generate from deep with inside him. One meeting led to another and he definitely knew he was falling head over heels for her. He wasn't being rejected. He no longer is waiting to join his dearly departed because there is too much living yet to be done.

Yes, God has a way of taking those of us who start to become too weary to fight the bumps and holes of life and making us see there is always the beauty, the thrills, the loves of life He offers if we only make the effort. And for those of us who don't want to make the effort he might just throw some events at us that might shake us up and make us fight the good battle. The fellow I am writing about is so glad that God did just that using Kathy and his new found love.

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