Saturday, January 8, 2011

New Year's Resolutions From 2011 That Still Apply For 2013

Blogged my intentions for 2011 and they need little updating. Except that I have decided not to make any more resolutions because I never seem to keep them and if I did I probably wouldn't be happy. The only new resolutions I have for 2013 is to eat, drink and be happy and enjoy all God's gifts that have been given to me especially my new and old loves that make this crazy world worth living.

With that here are my New year's Resolutions from 2011 that apply to 2013!


Maria's Blog at http://www.talesfromahungrylife.wordpress.com is one of witty and original ideas. She recently posted  something about New Year's Resolutions that prompted me to steal rather, that inspired me to use her originality for one of my posts. For those of you who remember, I have become the Milton Berle of Blogging. I did post the following comment to her blog:

"I never used to make resolutions but now that I have aged, like good wine here are a few for 2011: I will make only good investments! The first is at my age never to buy green bananas. I will live each day as though it is my last and at my age it may very well be! I will continue to watch Seinfeld reruns and gain by the good karma and philosophy of George who is my hero right after Mr. Costanza. I will get more sleep which is easy as all I have to do is turn on the TV and watch. This year I will NOT write the Yankees requesting a try out. One good thing I have found at my age is I can say almost anything I want to pretty young girls who regard me as harmless so I will try to be more outrageous than I have been. AND Finally whenever I get depressed I shall read this blog so that my spirits can be uplifted by Maria’s great insights which are full of humor which She must know from whom she inherits it. Great Posting."

Green bananas by their very nature requires time. As we age time is never something we can waste. Invest in stock and if you are lucky it will appreciate before you die so you can leave it to your family to save the capital gains tax. Somebody is going to eat those green bananas after they ripen and it probably won't be you.  Wait too long and green bananas and stock usually over ripens and becomes a loss.

Watching the Seinfeld re-runs always brings greater insight into the "double dip", flying at half fare when a death in the family is involved and the importance of knowing where the best public bathrooms in New York are. Mr. Costanza brought to mind the dangers of war when in Korea he as the cook for his outfit almost killed them all with food poisoning. Oh the horror! Mr. Costanza had other contributions like the man bra, the girl bra and "THE MOVE", when one stopped short in the car using the left arm to brace the female in the front seat from smashing into the dashboard while getting a "feel". Life's important moments. Those who did not follow the series can catch up on the re-runs via cable.

Sleep is very important. Sleep is a component to happiness. I can't seem to sleep more than five or six hours at a time. I have noticed that when I watch television, Seinfeld excluded, I manage to sleep at least fifteen to thirty minutes every hour. I shall force myself to watch more TV in order to get more sleep and increase my happiness. At around 11:30 PM I shall retire for my extended sleep and more happiness. I do dream. In my dreams I always win and get the girl.

I will still root for the Yankees but if they want to pass up a great opportunity to sign someone who can insure the World Series to them, then the HELL WITH THEM. This year I won't write them requesting a try-out. As I said, I'll still root for them but I can't excuse their stupidity if they end up losing.

Have any of you guys out there noticed that as you get older you can get away with more? People hold doors open for you. You are addressed as "SIR" by anyone that thinks you look old enough to be their father or (damn it!), grandfather. Especially the younger women, who in their eyes are "younger" even if they are in their fifties or sixties. The younger they are the more harmless and cuddly they think you are. Watch out don't call them "girls" if they are under thirty but you are on safe ground with "girls" once past thirty. I know some "girls" who are over one hundred who just beam at being addressed as "girls"  while the under thirty crowd insists they are "women".

Every once in a while I may get a bit melancholy and that's when I shall refer to Maria's blog I mentioned at the beginning of this posting. I always am uplifted by her originality and way with words. She always makes me laugh and at times shed a tear. I am sure if I followed her recipes I'd put on a great deal of weight.

Well, that's some of my New Year's resolutions. What are yours?
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