Thursday, November 6, 2014

All The Girls I've Loved Before

Just heard Sinatra singing about all the girls he's loved before. Checked out the Internet and got Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson singing a duet of the same song. I am sure these Lotharios all loved many beauties with names and fame like they had it would be easy. But for any real time relationships that the public knows about they weren't as successful as the song has them boasting they were. We read about these famous love affairs some of them very sad and tragic, like Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe. But we never get the real intimate words and thoughts they shared, the real things that formed the basis of their relationships. I guess it would be very hard to get what was really going on in any relationship for it is not words, or events it is love, feelings and more spiritual mixed in with the physical that makes up any relationship. These are things that really can't be explained they have to be lived. Only those who are sharing their lives can really know what the whole relationship is.

This whole thing got me to thinking about some of the girls I've loved from when I was very young to when I am very old. Some were very short relationships, one was extremely long, one or two were ones I didn't know there was a relationship going on until it was over. The ones I knew about were very intense, and burned with desire. The other ones remain a sad thought of reflection. The shortest ones were somewhat comical. The shortest occurred when I was 17.
I was a senior in high school and Loretta was in my class as well as in my neighborhood. Two things ranked first and second in my life then, baseball and music, coming up closer was girls and Loretta was all girl that captured my attention and returned some favors. We hung around all summer together and then one hot summer night after sharing some summer kisses she asked me where we were going in our hanging around together. I was under the influence of the starlit , full moon skies and I asked her to be my girl. After she said yes and we smooched and petted a bit, she said "And one more thing". This is a phrase I felt bared some problems and I was right. She proceeded to tell me that now that we were a couple I would have to spend more time with her, like going to church on Sundays which would mean I would have to give up my Sunday Baseball games. I had a game the very next day and we were fighting for first place. I didn't want to give up Baseball so I had to choose. Maybe it was a cowardly thing to do but I agreed with her, went home, woke up the next day and played the game, we never spoke again until some 45 years later when we happened to meet. I think she forgot about our entanglement.  By the way I got a couple of hits that day.
 The next three relationships happened at three stages of my life. Bobby and I met at my first place of employment after high school. She worked in stationary and I was an office boy who wandered all over the building. There was a storage place that was quite lonely. We used to meet there and pass the boring part of the days making out. We finally agreed that there was a passion that couldn't be quenched between us so we became a couple. We dated, made out and things were going very splendidly as far as I was concerned. That is until one day I ventured to our spot in stationary and I found her in the arms of Jim Gallon. Suffice to say I was a bit upset and being young and a bit inclined to rash decisions I broke up with her on the spot. I really couldn't understand how she could be in love with me and make out with someone else, I really haven't changed much, but that's me. She was absent from work the next few days so I called to see what was up and was told by her mom that she turned on the gas over some emotional problem and she was being attended to. She called me later and we started to date and become involved all over again. But even after her promises I found her with Jim again. I couldn't blame Jim, in those days that is the way guys acted, but I did expect her to stay away from him as long as we were a couple. Out theme song was from Jose Ferre's picture "Moulin Rouge"  which had lyrics that said "Whenever we kiss I worry and wonder, your lips may be near, but where is your heart?". We finally said goodbye. She didn't die and neither did I.

The next gal was a bouncy blond that was a few years older than me which held a certain mystery, going out with an "older women", who knows what this could mean. My best friend was part of this whole group of guys and gals that went out together. Georgette and I hit it off right away and we became a couple. I must admit I felt a bit guilty since she had a boyfriend in the Army and the Korean war was going on. But what the heck, life goes on. And to prove that fact it seems that my best friend was also attracted to Georgette and when they became too friendly I decided to step aside and let them have a go at it. Unfortunately,  Georgette didn't see it that way and used to call me at all hours, two or three in the morning which caused my mother a lot of distress but didn't seem to bother my father. After going through a year of this craziness I split once and for all and asked her to go on with her life and let me go on with mine. And we did. She eventually married my best friend and became a shrew. I thank him from the bottom of my heart.

The last girl I will tell about was a long term affair, over fifty years, but not without it's very own problems. This beautiful gal had many suitors before me and in fact was engaged. She would never tell me much about these guys just enough to let me realize she never forgot them, that is until she came down with Alzheimer's. The recurrent theme always came up, the other guy. In fact if she didn't split with Rocky Castle, Roberto Di Castillo, we would have never married. That bothered me in a way. The other suitors were a flight of fancy and I guess so what. One thing was certain that in over the fifty years we were a couple the only arms she was in was mine. But the recurring theme was there was always another guy lurking in my girl's past. Of course there was another girl in my past. But you know how guys are, don't you? They want to be the only one even if it means the ones before are just forgotten.

As to unknown loves there were only two I remember. One was with a vivacious co-worker with whom I got very close but not until we were in separate jobs did I realize she was looking for a deeper relationship. She came to town on a business trip and invited me up to her hotel room for breakfast before work. She was in her bathrobe but face made up and I know something could've happened but I had a quick cup of coffee and left. Since that time we have drifted so far away that we barely exchange Christmas cards. Before that day so many years ago we always shared deep emotions and ideas. The other one was Marilyn, who was a Secretary and with whom I got very close. She was married, older and was in love with her husband and children. She was moving away and came into my office and said she wanted me to know that she was in love with me. She said she could tell me that knowing we would never see each other again and therefore nothing would ever come of it because she still loved her husband. Needless to say I was floored but very flattered, and also very sad for obvious reasons.

I guess that's all about all the girls I've ever loved before, well not all but the most important. As to present relationship, I can't refer to that except to say history has a way of repeating itself but most important  the thrill of a kiss never wanes, a hand holding that says "I am here for you",  the thrill of life that comes from a shared love always makes life exciting and worth the ride.

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