Tuesday, September 16, 2014

What is best? Love or Competition?

When he was younger he was always ready to do battle. Coming from a very sports oriented  family competition was always in play. There was a very brief moment he considered entering boxing because the competition there was the greatest as it always had the element of danger involved. But then he soon realized that no matter how long it took, sooner or later there would always be someone who would be better leading to a serious beating and humiliation. He decided to heed the words of a favorite uncle who was involved in many battles
during WW II, "He who stops and runs away lives to fight another day.".

However his involvements in other sports such as baseball, basketball, horse racing and gambling such as cards, craps and betting on fights kept the competitive spirit alive and well. As he matured he also became aware of the competitiveness between the sexes especially in the matters of romance.
Somehow dating became a game. Have a good time dancing, good food, a couple of drinks. Then came the kisses and what-have-you when he would try to get to first base and she would maybe let him get as far second but third and home was a real strategic battle that involved many moves which included words and negotiations that resembled at times nations at the peace table.  The outcome of such could lead to a longer relationship where the war of words continued until the game was declared over and the teams returned home to rest and enter the fray another day.

As he matured, he hated the term "Got Older", he realized that romance was not really a game to be played but an experience that was a shared loving not a competitive battle. He finally met the one who didn't want to play a game but live a life. But she was a victim of her past as was he and without realizing it there were elements of the game being played.

But this time he decided not to compete. This wasn't a game to win or lose. This was a situation that would have a profound affect on his life forever.  so he had to stifle his desire to compete and channel his energies to do the right thing even if it meant being humble, although he wasn't exactly sure how to be humble. There was no need to argue. No need to win the arguments. There was only the need to be aware of her needs and then hopefully she would be aware of his needs.

In other words he replaced competing with loving which is different than loving to compete. Competing is winning. Loving is not concerned with winning but just being happy when the loved one is happy.
St Paul said it best:

 He still competes but at this stage of his life he keeps the competition to sports as he tries to let love rule the other areas of his life. It ain't easy but it is a helluva lot more fun and life-affirming.
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