Sunday, July 27, 2014
July 27, 1957 was a hot Saturday. They were getting married at a Nuptial Mass at 9 AM . Then off to the restaurant in Port Washington with a sliding roof, called, The Riviera, for Breakfast then the reception at
1 PM. As she entered the church he thought she is as beautiful as ever, in today's terms, she was very hot! It was to be a small gathering with close relatives and friends totaling 85 people. The ceremony went well with only one glitch, if one could call it that, her father was standing on her gown's train so after he kissed her he didn't move and she couldn't get to his side which caused him to laugh, controlled, but laugh he did.
After the ceremony they had the breakfast and looked out upon the water of the bay which boarded The Riviera. The reception started right on time and they had their first dance together as Mr. and Mrs. The four piece band was one he used when he was playing his trumpet for a living so they surprised him by bringing his trumpet so he danced yes, but he also played some sets and he also managed to insult the photographer so that he left after taking enough pictures or so he thought. The guests were wonderful. The roof was rolled back and the sky shone overhead and being next to the water the cool breeze was delightful. They left around 4 PM as they had to go to Miami for their honeymoon, then to the Army base where he was stationed in Georgia. They lived off base at 79 B Baker Village.
As he reflected on this day of July 27, 2014, some 57 years after it it all started, he could only reflect on how much has happened in those years. Most if not all of the guests were gone. She left him, passing on, some 7 years ago. after a long deliberating battle with Alzheimer's. But while everyone from that eventful day was gone many more were added. They had 7 children, some of whom married and had children, 10 to be exact and one grandchild had a beautiful little son, his only great-grandson. New friends, new family all replacing the ones who had passed on. Their children were truly the gift of their union, a treasure that was immeasurable, truly a treasure worth all the gold in the world and then some.
For a while he grieved deeply not only for her passing but for her illness which robbed her of her life, her dignity, her ability to function even at the simplest levels. But he soon realized that the life lived was just that, something of the past that lived no more except in the memories of those who wanted to remember. It was time to move on and start to live again, not stay in the past but get into the "now", the present. He got together with old friends from his childhood, volunteered and was busy, that was it, "busy" not living, not enjoying. Then through social networking he met an old friend who he hadn't seen in a quarter of a century. They met. They hit it off. They fell in love. And suddenly his life was complete again. A solitary life is very lonely for some, for him. But just having acquaintances was not fulfilling. But having a shared love is completion. She completed him. This shared love is going to be enjoyed and lived for as long as they want it to be. His age is a problem, but why worry about tomorrow when we have today to live.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Now that the All Star Game is over, the World Cup gone for another four years can we get back to some of the important things, of course not as important as Baseball and Soccer, such as the girls, some 200, who have been kidnapped and held captive for many months by terrorists, can be set free? The short attention span of the public world wide is shocking. Everybody and I mean everybody, TV News, Print news, talking heads, world leaders all were focused on this matter but now nothing from anybody.
Israel doesn't have clean hands in all the conflict that goes on in their neck of the woods but it seems to me that if any country had to put up with rockets being fired into their territory by a group which wanted to wipe them out there would be such a world wide uproar that a strike back to end such shelling would be applauded. Yet it seems that Israel has to defend it's moves against Hamas while Hamas continues to send rockets into Israel. I bet the USA would wipe out any of it's neighbors if it was subjected to the same thing,
as would any world power.
Derek Jeter is a great Yankee, a great ballplayer but he is not some kind of God. He is a young man with exceptional talent who conducts his life with great discretion but I bet if one dug just a little many flaws would be discovered much like A-Rod has but Jeter doesn't take steroids nor does he flaunt his romantic forays into that part of our society that lets powerful sports stars, like Wilt Chamberlain for instance, to bed any women that throws themselves nakedly into their arms. Point is Jeter has flaws, he is human, but if he continues to be overly idolized he will fall one day and the pieces will never be put together again.
The more I am exposed to this younger generation the more I wonder what they are afraid of? Maybe it is the long time pursuing an education and the debt it seems to burden them with. Maybe it is because they have had much given to them without ever working for it and suddenly they find the world never gives away anything and to get on with their lives they have to work, give of themselves and sweat a bit. But they continually run from one party to another, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, being promiscuous. Suddenly they wake up one day and they find they are getting older, the drugs and alcohol are dragging them down as their health declines. Having children becomes a problem the older they get. Marriage may happen but with the proviso that if it doesn't work out they can always get a divorce. But for now let's have another party.
Who says relationships are too much work? It seems to me that if anything is worthwhile then it need attention and work, yes work. Work to keep the excitement in it or it becomes boring. Work in making the decision to love each day because love is selfless and we humans are too selfish. Work to please the other person, because love is in giving and giving is always harder than receiving. Work to keep desire alive. The important thing is "desire" because action without desire is empty. So to those who want an "easy" relationship I would say it lacks the cement of a relationship that required working at it and that working is something that is not toil and hard, it is like building a house on a solid foundation while the "easy" one is building a house on sand.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
The day was beautiful, low humidity, temps around 75 and a sky that was very high, cloudless, seemingly without any lid or top to it stretching out into eternity. There was a gentle breeze waffling over him making him wish he could lie nude with the warmth of the sun being cooled by the breeze gently caressing his body.
He wished he could share this day with the one he loved but there was no one available this day. He let his mind wander over what had happened in his life over the last few years. His first love had left him and it was best that she did, best for her because she had to go before she wasted away into dust before his very eyes, mind and body. There were a number of years that followed that found him alone, alone amidst a crowd many times. Those times had days like today but they only provided melancholia. Slowly but surely he worked his way out of those feelings keeping the memories fresh and uplifting. Then he met her, someone out of his almost forgotten past. She was full of life. Ready to laugh quicker than cry. Ready to live life and take chances rather than rue the missed opportunities life presented.
Then almost as quickly as they had come together to enjoy each other something was said, a glance misunderstood, a mood misinterpreted and what was a blossoming affair disintegrated into a terrible
feeling of mistrust and bad karma. They separated for a short time. He wasn't sure if he could breech the differences, it was like a drawbridge that gets stuck open with a gaping hole that couldn't be crossed without the danger of falling down through that opening into the waters so far below to drown and never see the light of day again. But he knew if he didn't give it a try staying on his side of the bridge would be worse than falling through that opening to his death.
So, metaphorically speaking, he gunned the engine in his car and sped very quickly towards that uplifting part of the bridge and going at 100 miles an hour his car few into the air and bridged the gap onto her side where after a short time she was ready to give it a try one more time although this time she wasn't laughing, or trusting as readily. They both tried, they both loved and slowly they came together again hopefully stronger as they were tested by fire and fire makes steel stronger and maybe relationships. As far as he was concerned his life was much better with her in it. Hopefully he gave her a better living experience by being in her life.
One thing he was sure of was that any love, any relationship needs constant attention, trust and work. That's right, work! It is so easy to become concerned about the "me" in "you and me" but it has to be always about "us", a giving and receiving of love and concern to share life's good parts as well as bad parts.
Yes he wished he could share this day with somebody but there was no one available, "this day". Happily there was someone to share the days that were following. She was there as long as she wanted to be and he wanted her to be the one sharing those good days for as long as they live.