Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Family Origins

His Father actions were so ingrained in family that actions were louder than words. He immigrated from Italy to the United States of America when he was only 19 years of age, never returning to see his family left behind but immensely loyal to those he left, those that came to America and those who became his family through marriage. His father was a great role model, quiet, strong, ever present ever loving with devotion to his family that could never be aptly put into words.

With his Father such a great role model he had an even greater role model through his grandmother. She was born in 1875, in 1889 she became a wife through an arraigned married which was not so unusual in those days even for poor families. Her husband was a brute when he drank which he did frequently abusing her along the way, which also was not unusual in those days. Her first 7 children died between childbirth and three years old while her next 6 children lived. They survived barely until her husband died an early death and she had to support her family anyway she could. She scrubbed floors, cleaned out spittoons, was a janitor barely making enough for all to eat and get some clothing to put on her children's back. She had nervous breakdowns that today would put her in a hospital but then she had to pull herself up and go to work or her children would not eat or be clothed. There was nothing like we know of welfare but when she applied for whatever help there was a social worker told her she would have to give up her children to foster homes or orphanages which led her to open the door and tell the woman to leave or be thrown out. She stuck it out, living a miserable life basically from 14 to her early 40's when her children were getting old enough to help out. She became religious when one day she was cleaning some very dirty stoops cursing God and her life when a very heavy glass cross came flying out of a window and almost struck her in the head. The cross only chipped a bit but never broke. She took this near miss as an answer from the Almighty that she had her children, her life, and she would have an easier later life as long as she remained faithful to Him and her children, her family. Which she did and her later life was much easier until she died in 1947 at the age of 72.
But what she left was a host of people that formed the family. Her Daughters worshiped their mother and her sons always paid her the respect that was they appeared to listen to her admonitions even if they didn't. Children were revered and while they did have their place and knew what that place was the children were loved and when they grew up and had their own children which were  loved. The men worked to make sure the kids were well clothed, fed and had a warm house in the winter. This philosophy was passed down that even to day a younger cousin of his is only happy when she is with her daughter and grandchild  on the East Coast and her son and grandchildren on the West Coast and she manages to visit frequently and is always received with love. His older cousin manages to help her children who have children of need  and despite advancing age provide the love and presence that only a loving mother can give to a child when that child is in need. The fact is that even though his family has broken down into smaller units everyone of them are families of love and caring. And all this comes from that little woman, she never was more than 5 feet tall, born in 1875 and kept her family together through tough and very bad times. This little lady gave them the ammunition of love which her children passed on to their children who are passing in on to all the children who follow.
He read the following: "Meaning of Family
When people stay away from each other, their strengths get divided. Family bestows them with a collective power to withstand all kinds of trials and tribulations. This is why having a family is extremely important." 

He thought that was as good as a meaning of family as he could get but it lacked one thing, the thing that bonded people together in strong ties is love for without love all we have is self protection with love we have all involved seeking only good for the unit or the other individuals involved. The more he thought about this the more he was convinced that the love of Mothers was the factor that actually formed the family unit and bonded the members tightly together. He knew some mothers did not have what seemed as an innate power to act for the good of their children but for the most part his experience was that a close knit family working together for the common good motivated by love for each other had the foundation in the mother who worked her magic by loving her children totally and deeply. The driving force of his grandmother to keep her children together motivating her scarifies was her love for her children which was greater than her love for herself. He saw this love in all her children and even in his own wife who loved her children so greatly she never saw anything but goodness emanating from them even when they were doing bad things. He was coming to the conclusion then that the closest thing to goodness, God because God is good, is love expressed through Mothers. He guessed then, God being spiritual has no sex but God is pure love and God's creation to show this love was female. Motherly love then he supposed is the closest one can get to experiencing God. God is love, pure motherly love is selfless and has only the good of her children as her goal. This sounds very Godly. We know know that male and female share certain characteristics and he thought then it would be possible for each of God's creations to have this ability to love in this manner then it would be possible to have "motherly love" even if one is male all one has to do is be open to the idea that we can love as God, or for those who do not believe, as nature or some super force has, and let it happen and grow from within our spirit. He guessed that all that is needed then is to be open to love and if possible theoretically the whole world can be family looking for the good of all. But this sounded too Utopian so he decided to stop thinking about it and just try and live it.

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