Thursday, March 7, 2013

Love Is A Four Letter Word

There was nothing to do but wait for the storm. The forecasts all predicted it was sure to hit in a few hours and pummel the area he was living in. The idea was not to get too far away from his abode or the storm could strike quickly with a fierce force and he would be stuck far away from the safety of his home. He kind of felt that this was the way it was in his life. He wandered a little too far from the safety of what he knew best and now he was waiting for the storm to hit. There was nothing he could do about for what was about to happen was going to happen and he had lost control of the situation. He noticed there were beads of water forming on the windows and some snow was beginning to come down in flurries. Yes the storm was beginning quietly perhaps but if the forecasters were correct the full fury would be striking soon.

He inserted the CD into the slot. He was ready to listen to what she gave him, Jason Mraz, "Love Is A Four Letter Word", which had 12 songs on it. The fourth song, "I won't Give Up" had special meaning for them. There was a beautiful foldout in the cover which had a quote from Fred Rogers, that's right the Mr. Rogers of the kids show, "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood which said, "Understanding love is one of the hardest things in the world.". He thought this strange, a host of a children's show being quoted in a CD by a  rock folk singer who is singing about love between two people. This is far from a kids show, he thought but then he found a lot of quotes by the late Fred Rogers that really weren't meant for the children alone.

The weather wasn't looking as fierce as they had predicted. Maybe the prognosticators  were wrong he hoped. He never liked snow even when he was a kid. He turned the volume on his player up very loud and he settled in his chair closing his eyes and letting the sound of music combined with the beautiful lyrics completely envelope him. He was trying to remember if he ever told her of his true feelings for her. He guessed it didn't really matter if he did or didn't as he was fearful of rejection if he forced the issue. He mused that was probably why he was alone at an age when it really isn't good to be flying solo. This time it was different. This time he really didn't want to be without her. She had become to mean too much to him. This time he wanted it to be forever not for just a night, or a day or a year. He wasn't prepared for this reaction on his part yet it was there. He was already missing her smile, her laughter, her snuggling up to him as they watched the movies in the cinema. The CD came to an end and he opened his eyes and noticed that the storm was letting up already and there were glimmers of sunlight trying to peek through the clouds giving a beautiful glow to some flakes still falling gently to the ground. He hit the play button and the album started over again.

He rested back into his chair, closed his eyes and let the sound words and music envelope him once again.

"The Woman I Love" was finishing and Jason was singing "Yeah I gonna love you, Yeah I'm gonna Love you, You're the woman I love." then "I Won't Give Up" came on and it was about a love that wouldn't walk away, that had hopes, that despite problems they would always try and never give up.

He dozed into a fitful dream. The dream was vivid. She was with someone else. He was alone because because he was too fearful to take the risk and tell her how he felt. As she started to walk away with him, he jolted himself into consciousness.

He opened his eyes with a start. "What the hell is wrong with me?", he thought. This might be my last chance at happiness. I have to take the risk and tell her how I feel and give her a chance to say she doesn't feel the same. He dialed her number after a few rings she answered, "Hello", he replied,  "Hi this is me.  Can we meet tonight and talk about loving and laughing for the rest of our lives?. Oh, and by the way I love you." There was a silence that seemed longer than it probably was and she replied, "Sure. You want to meet tonight for dinner?" "Yeah, tonight is fine. Name the time and place.". She replied "Meet me after work around five." After a short pause she said, "I love you too.".  

He looked outside and noticed the sun was shinning brightly, the storm was over as though it never came.

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