Sunday, October 7, 2012

Once Upon A Time

There was a time he was robust. That was at the beginning. He didn't know it at the time but now that he was at the end of his existence he fully understood it. She was lonely but never fully understood it. She thought her life had been full but it lacked someone to share with fully. Oh she had lovers but they were shallow and the association always came down to being there for the moment but not forever. One or two might have held out the promise and they shared her family problems and helped in raising her children. When it finally came to making the full commitment they backed off. They weren't bad guys only weak ones.

Way down in her psyche without her realizing it she pined for someone to share love, to share life on a deeper level, one with meaning that touched the soul not just the senses. Out of nowhere he came along. What she wanted seemed to be embodied in him. Not at the start, but as they got to know each other they seemed to be fulfilling each one's needs. It seemed her thoughts were creating him to be the one she never had but needed so desperately in her life. He seemed real but he was only a figment of her imagination. As long as she loved him he grew strong and vibrant.

Then one day, there was something, she couldn't put her finger on it, but that "something" started to make her feel that he wasn't everything she wanted. Somehow that type of thinking pervaded her thoughts and the less she thought of him the more she thought that her past life wasn't so bad. The more she felt the need to return to her past lovers the less robust he seemed. His life was being sucked out of him as her love for him decreased. She never fully realized it but she was the the reason he had life, he had meaning.

She didn't want him to leave but he couldn't remain with her as she took the lifeblood out of him. The less love she had for him, the less she wanted to be with him, the more he started to disappear. He tried to reach out to let her know he was losing his ground and was disappearing. She didn't hear him. Finally, he just disappeared. She missed him greatly but not enough to want him back. So she returned to her old ways. She had plenty of friends, pursuers. She had a great business and social life but it all lacked the deep meaning she pined for the love that cut to the soul not the relationships that only touched the surface. But then the deeper relationships required giving up too much of herself, and she was not ready for that.

She lived out her life alone in a very nice assisted living situation. He of course was never heard from again.

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