Monday, June 4, 2012

Love, Ain't It Grand!

Way back when the world at least seemed simpler and nicer there was a young man who was very infatuated with a beautiful young woman. They had dated for a few years and seemed to been genuinely in love, at least they were physically attracted because they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Most of his time was spent thinking about how much he wanted her both in present terms and biblical and she seemed to be of like mind. There was only one thing for them to do to keep this situation on a level plain, at least according to her, and that was to get married. The whole idea of full commitment for a lifetime seemed a little alien to him. First of all he had no money and the prospect of obtaining a financial future seemed remote. Secondly, there was a new idea that was being floated among the progressive thinkers of the day that one should try out the situation by living together for a year or two to determine if they were really ready for a lifetime of commitment, which seemed reasonable to him but verboten to her. So in order to keep everything in proper perspective they agreed to be married. He had to serve his stint in the Army, two years. Need I remind you this was happening back in the day of simpler and nicer times. About a month before he was to enter the Army they went to a secluded spot on a deserted picnic grounds and had a nice little cookout. They laid on a blanket and made beautiful, hot passionate love, always stopping short of, well, you know how it was way back when.

The bucolic scene only enhanced their deep feelings of love and lust as they walked back to the car. For some reason he he noticed a twig that had fallen from a nearby tree. He picked up the twig and for no other reason except he thought it would add a little humor to the day he gently tapped her on her rear-end with it. She turned around and asked, "Why did you do that?", to which he replied, remember this was way back when, when men were men and women were subservient, "I did it to remind you who the master is.", and to which she reacted not too well, he thought. "Oh, yes? Well don't do that again!". This response raised the hackles on his neck and he felt his manhood being challenged so he gave her another rap only a little harder this time to which she repeated her request only a little firmer. He responded by giving her a good rap on her butt and she turned and took the twig, rather yanked the twig out of his hands and said, "Do that on more time and you will be yanking this stick out of a part of your body that usually doesn't have anything stuck up it!". Suddenly  it dawned on him that she was really mad, he could tell this by the sound of her shrill voice and the redness of her face. Being the time when men were men and the hell with what a woman thought he reacted a bit strongly as they went face to face with rising voices that brought some of the park workers out of their reverie to see what the hell was going on. The workers apparently recognized a slight lover's quarrel and retreated back into their shack. They on the other hand got into the car and drove home without a word. When they got to her house he threw opened the door and she stormed out into her front door and not a word was exchanged. "Well screw her!", he thought, "Here I was going to rescue her from being an old maid and she does this! Screw her!". Besides he was pretty sure she would call to apologize to him before he left to the Army.

The days seemed to fly by, "Here it is two weeks past and she hasn't called. She won't let me go into the Army without making up.". Another week past and he was miserable. But he wouldn't let his manhood be compromised by a female just because she was a little touchy about being tapped on her rear-end with a very small twig. He had only one week to go before his two year hitch was going to begin and he missed her, missed her laugh, that special aroma she had around her body, the feel of her lips and the closeness of her body when they danced. BUT he was a MAN! He went to his favorite bar that night and put a quarter in the juke box (remember it was way back when) and as he started sipping his Scotch rocks Sinatra's "Learning The Blues" came on. He listened closely as Frank sang his feelings.

The tables are empty
The dance floor's deserted
You play the same love song
It's the tenth time you've heard it
And that's the beginning
Just one of those clues
You've had your first lesson
In learning the blues
[ Lyrics from: http://wwwbthe_blues.html ]
The cigarettes you light
One after another
Won't help you forget her
Or the way that you love her
You're only burning
A torch you can't lose
But you're on the right track
For learning the blues

When you're at home alone
The blues will haunt you constantly
When you're out in a crowd
The blues will haunt your memory
The nights when you don't sleep
The whole night you're crying
But you can't forget her
Soon you'll stop trying
You'll walk the floor
And wear out your shoes
When you're feeling your heart break
You're learning the blues

As the song came to an end he took a deep drag on his Lucky Strike, a big gulp of his Scotch Rocks and said to himself, "The hell with all this MAN bulls**t. I miss her and want her. He got into a telephone booth (Remember this was back in the day) and dialed her number. She picked up the phone and for the first time in three weeks he felt like a real man when he heard her voice. "Hey Babe, I love you. Do you still love me?" to which she yelled Yes! I thought you'd never call.", "before we waste another moment what do you say I come and pick you up and we start where we left off in the park without the tree limb?", she responded with a yes. He drove to her house where he found her waiting outside for him. He jumped out of the car and they ran to one another and to the shock of all the neighbors (remember this was way back then) they embraced in a great soulful kiss and they never wanted to let themselves go.

Needless to say after the Army they married and never went to bed being angry. That one time in their lives was enough. Oh and one more thing, he made sure he'd never touch her ass again, at least with a twig.

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