Monday, September 11, 2017
He spent some time thinking about this situation that happened, which by the way he never sought but she did, which caused an upheaval in his life that went from the heights of love to the depths of despair until everything just leveled off and he was left with Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote. " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Admittedly, their attraction was more physical than spiritual although he wanted it to rise to the level of the spirit but she never really wanted that. They knew each other when they were much younger but they went their separate ways many years prior to their chance meeting at a department store. They both noticed each other at first glance even though they had changed greatly over the years, yet there was something that rang through to the brain lobes as soon as their eyes met. After they stopped for only a bit showing mutual recognition acknowledging one another they started to part. But as they were about to go their separate ways they reached out to shake hands and as soon as their skins touched it was like a chemical reaction was set off in each of them, somehow sexual recognition was there, a want, an attraction something unexplainable. So he asked if they could get together for lunch and she said sure.
They met for lunch at a place near her work. There was a parking lot that allowed her to drive to it so they met at her office and drove to their place where she parked. They were more than middle aged but they had lunch with two glasses of wine. Then they got into her car. She wanted to wait for the wine to wear off. However before they knew it they were making out like teenagers with hormones running wild not caring if anyone would see them no matter how foolish these "older" people looked.
He didn't live alone so they had no place to go to fully consummate their desires, but the opportunity came up a few times. It was then that she let him know that relationship of more than a decade just ended because the passion had gone out of it and her lover wouldn't leave his wife and she's always be "the other woman".
They realized they couldn't keep this up in cars or a chance visit to his place so she suggested the place she knew, one used in the other relationship because he went back to live with his wife.
He should've recognized the change in her as soon as they entered the room but he was blinded by his own desires and didn't notice that she wasn't sharing anymore she was directing, where they would sit, how they would drink their wine and talk before they stripped and entered the bed.
The real tip off should have come when one day she said our relationship was cutting into her friendships that she had for many years and she didn't want to lose them. Among the people she wanted to keep in touch with was her old lover who for some reason she had an attachment relating to her family that needed continuation.
Their love making started to cool. Suddenly what their attraction was, was being explained as infatuation which of course would cool. Then whatever they did did not satisfy her. At one time the fire burned so fiercely they didn't have to think about what they did but now they did. They argued quite a bit. She constantly compared him to her old lover to whom she kept in contact with. She didn't cheat physically but created an environment in which he felt like he losing everything in this relationship. Plans to spend time together away from home were no longer desired by her. She finally reached the point where they wouldn't touch at all, no hand holding, her head wouldn't rest on his shoulder, they'd kiss hello and goodbye but closeness in mind, body, life in general was over.
He came to the conclusion he caught her on the rebound. Once the rebound was over he figured she really didn't understand where her feelings were at. Perhaps if her old lover left his wife she'd go back to him, perhaps not but she certainly seemed more in tune with him as she might be with anyone else.
Now this relationship is one he really doesn't want but he doesn't know how to break it off without it becoming a breakup with the worst feelings generated by words that wound deeply. One thing is sure he doesn't want to keep running in neutral and being rejected while there are still places to go and explore.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Thursday, July 6, 2017
They had a great start to a relationship. Their attraction to one another was so strong that the mere touch set off sparks that could only be put down by lying with each other until they were exhausted by their expression of their physical love. He guessed it was their infatuation stage. He read that the images of the brain during infatuation stages of couples reflected brain waves of people on drugs. They acted as if they were on drugs spending hours on the phone, looking for ways to spend time together especially finding the hot sheets of the local Inns the only way they could put out the fire that was burning in their hearts.
Like all fires the flames started to lose their energy. She started to long for old flames, not to cheat or lay with them but she missed the spark they engendered and suddenly he did not. It was like the tide changing, The waters ebbing until suddenly high tide was gone and low tide never was really any good for a good swim.
Time on his side was running out. Due to genetic makeup his time on earth was going to expire at the very most over the next decade. He wasn't quite sure when it would happen but happen it would. Knowing that his time was limited he wanted to enjoy life to the fullest each day. But it was getting more and more difficult knowing that he was being rejected on a physical level by the very person he spent the most time with. Even though they were still involved in a relationship it was one that resembled more platonic than a lovers relationship. Neither one was strong enough to break off but it was becoming clearer to him that they had in fact already broke off but just hadn't taken the steps to recognize it.
He was at wits end because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to have a relationship that reflected what they actually were to each other. If she wanted old lovers or even new lovers to spark that fiery sex experience he no longer created that was all right with him. When they were first experiencing this break in their relationship he certainly reacted badly towards this, besides being rejected she preferred others which was a deepening of rejection. But he he just didn't care if she rejected him on this level anymore because to tell the truth he had no desire to be between the sheets with her anymore. What he wanted was clarity and truth in what they meant to one another rather than going through the motions. Yet he just didn't know how to get to this level without destroying any relationship they had left. And more than all that he was well aware that the shortened time he had left to enjoy the fruits of this world was getting shorter by the day and more than ever he wanted to spend that time in peace of soul, truth and love in all its forms, because quite frankly life without passion is not life in the fullest.
Sunday, July 2, 2017
A beautiful song that has been recorded by the greats Sinatra, Billie Holiday, Bobby Darin , Billy Eckstine among all of them. Check out Utube and listen with great pleasure as they tell the story of love broken, and the ashes that remain are filled with Friends.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
By now most of the world must have seen the June 12, 2017 Donald Trump full cabinet meeting. something that could have been a nice innocuous thing to do giving a nice check mark to a Presidency that doesn't have many "nice" check marks. A photo Op that could have just introduced the full cabinet to the world for the first time. Instead it turned out to be what should be a very embarrassing exhibition where the world's richest and most powerful people licked Trump's boots (I could say something else but for now I'll stay with boot licking) thanking him, bowing to him verbally, and even invoking the spiritual by saying it was "such a blessing" to be able to serve him. All but one did this. General James Mattis, The Secretary of Defense said it was an honor to to be associated with the men who serve us the American people. I am surprised he didn't just get up and walk out of this disgusting exhibition that would befit the rulers of a third world power like North Korea.
The comedians are having a field day with this as are the political pundits who know when they see a farce and call it such. Even Senator Chuck Schumer and his staff made fun of the Donald Trump reality show. But one thing has to be remembered, no matter how ridiculous this appears this is a very serious thing we are watching. Under Donald Trump we, America, are becoming laughing stocks of the world. We are headed by a narcissistic person at the best or a mentally deranged one at the worst who can set off a nuclear holocaust in a moment of pique feeling unappreciated and not honored.
On top of all this it is quite possible that Trump and his family are using the Presidency to increase their wealth by letting foreign powers maker payments to them by using their facilities so that they can curry favors from them. There is an emoluments case in the courts today filed my the Attorney Generals of two jurisdictions.
Our Republican party is standing by and watching all this happen without taking action because , it would appear, they don't want to lose power putting party above country. One wag said Paul Ryan, The Speaker of The House, is the only man to prove that it IS possible to live without a spine. Mitch McConnell is just being Mitch, no surprise there.
Hopefully our checks and balances will make this nightmare come to an end soon before the whole world blows up leaving only the Trumps and their ilk to live in prosperity like the kings they really aspire to be.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Saw a nice little movie called "The Lovers" staring Debora Winger and Tracy Letts which tells the story of a marriage gone stale and the husband and wife juggling affairs It was billed as a comedy but I didn't view it as such. I thought it was a character study of people in a life no longer filled with spark and passion but of dullness and boredom. Some people who saw this movie didn't like it as they thought it was slow moving and filled with characters that were totally unlikeable. I thought it captured life as it is reminding me of characters I knew or heard about. Verisimilitude is the noun I would use to describe the way I feel about this movie. Perhaps it hits to close to home for those who disagree with my critique.
The pace of the movie captures the true pace of life, moving slowly for the most part until some crisis happens and then the pace quickens until the crisis is resolved in some manner and then life returns to its normal pace. The main characters seem to have a life of cheating on each other without any explanation as to when it happened or why it happened. They aren't bad people just very fragile ones who can't seem to get hold of their emotions. I know of a woman who began cheating shortly after she thought he husband cheated on her. She kept the affair up even as she was in other torrid ones.
I know of a married couple who had affairs shortly after they took their marriage vows. They experienced only a few affairs one relationship took more than a decade and of course just like the characters in the movie they promised their lovers that they would divorce and be free to marry but when push came to shove they broke the affair and they are coupled to this day, still not very happy.
The characters in the movie were captivated by sex and the feelings of pleasure sexual behaviour gave but they never truly experienced sexual feelings that included love, a sharing of bodies that gave themselves entirely one to the other. Therefore in all actuality all they ever experienced is lusty love making but not love building. They became bored after some time and needed new charges to re-liven their batteries. Unfortunately these good but misguided people will never find happiness unless and until they find the elixir of life which is a blending of the physical and spiritual which is human love.
If you get a chance see the movie, maybe on demand if you miss it at the cinema. But don't judge the characters just see them as flawed human beings as we all are but happily not in the same way.